Uko wahumuriza umuntu urwaye indwara idakira

“Nkimara kumenya ko mama arwaye indwara idakira, byarangoye kubyemera. Narababaye birenze urugero, nanirwa kwemera ko mama nakundaga cyane yari agiye gupfa.”—Byavuzwe na Grace wo muri Kanada.

IYO abaganga basuzumye umuntu ukunda bagasanga arwaye indwara itazakira, incuti n’abavandimwe bagira agahinda kenshi ndetse bakaba babura uko babyifatamo. Bamwe bashobora kwibaza niba bagombye kubwira umurwayi ukuri kose ku birebana n’imimerere arimo. Abandi bibaza niba bazashobora kwihanganira kubona uwo bakunda ababara, cyangwa kumubona ata agaciro bitewe n’ingaruka z’iyo ndwara. Hari abantu benshi bahangayikishwa n’uko batazamenya icyo bavuga cyangwa icyo bakora mu gihe umurwayi azaba agiye gupfa.

Ni iki ukwiriye kumenya ku birebana n’uko wabyifatamo mu gihe umenye inkuru mbi nk’iyo? Ni mu buhe buryo wabera uwo muntu “incuti” nyancuti, ukamuhumuriza kandi ukamushyigikira muri ibyo bihe by’amakuba?—Imigani 17:17.

Kubabara ni ibisanzwe

Kubabara mu gihe uwo ukunda afashwe n’indwara ikomeye ni ibisanzwe. Ndetse n’abaganga bakunze kubona abantu bapfa, incuro nyinshi bumva bababaye, bakabura icyo bakora mu gihe baba bagomba kuvura abantu barwaye indwara zidakira no kubahumuriza.

Nawe ushobora kunanirwa kwihangana mu gihe ubona uwo ukunda ababara. Umugore witwa Hosa uba muri Burezili wari ufite murumuna we urwaye indwara idakira, yaravuze ati “kubona umuntu ukunda cyane ahora ababara ni ibintu biteye agahinda.” Igihe umugabo  wizerwa witwaga Mose yabonaga mushiki we afashwe n’ibibembe, yaratakambye ati “Mana ndakwinginze, mukize.”—Kubara 12:12, 13.

Iyo umuntu dukunda arwaye, tubabazwa n’ingorane aba arimo kubera ko twaremwe mu ishusho ya Yehova, Imana igira imbabazi (Intangiriro 1:27; Yesaya 63:9). Yehova yumva ameze ate iyo abona abantu bababara? Reka dusuzume uko Yesu yumvaga ameze. Yagaragaje kamere ya Se mu buryo butunganye (Yohana 14:9). Iyo Yesu yabonaga abantu bazahajwe n’uburwayi, ‘yabagiriraga impuhwe’ (Matayo 20:29-34; Mariko 1:40, 41). Nk’uko byasobanuwe mu ngingo yabanjirije iyi, igihe incuti ya Yesu yitwaga Lazaro yapfaga maze akabona ukuntu abavandimwe n’incuti za Lazaro bari bababaye, yarababaye cyane maze “ararira” (Yohana 11:32-35). Koko rero, Bibiliya igaragaza ko urupfu ari umwanzi kandi isezeranya ko vuba aha indwara n’urupfu bizavaho burundu.—1 Abakorinto 15:26; Ibyahishuwe 21:3, 4.

Birumvikana ko ushobora kumva ushaka kugereka amakosa ku muntu uwo ari we wese umuziza iyo nkuru mbi ivuga ko uwo ukunda arwaye indwara idakira. Icyakora, Dogiteri Marta Ortiz wanditse igitabo ku bihereranye no kwita ku bantu barwaye indwara zidakira, yatanze inama igira iti “irinde kugira uwo ugerekaho amakosa, yaba umuganga, umuforomo cyangwa wowe ubwawe, umuziza imimerere umurwayi arimo. Ibyo nta kindi byamara uretse gutuma abantu bahangayika, maze bose bakareka kwibanda ku byo umurwayi akeneye kandi ibyo ari byo by’ingenzi byagombye kwitabwaho.” Ni izihe ntambwe z’ingirakamaro ushobora gutera kugira ngo ufashe umuntu wawe guhangana n’indwara ye ndetse n’ibyiyumvo by’uko ashobora gupfa?

Jya wita ku muntu aho kwibanda ku ndwara arwaye

Intambwe ya mbere watera ni ukwita ku muntu aho kwibanda ku bumuga cyangwa ubusembwa ubwo ari bwo bwose yatewe n’uburwayi. Ibyo wabigeraho ute? Umuforomokazi witwa Sarah yagize ati “mfata umwanya nkitegereza  amafoto y’umurwayi igihe yari agifite amagara mazima, kandi nkamutega amatwi igihe antekerereza ibyo yagiye akora mu gihe cyahise. Ibyo bimfasha kwibuka imibereho ye n’ibyamubayeho, aho kwibanda gusa ku mimerere arimo.”

Undi muforomokazi witwa Anne-Catherine yasobanuye uko abigenza kugira ngo atibanda ku ngaruka indwara yagize ku mubiri w’umurwayi. Yaravuze ati “ndeba umurwayi mu maso, maze ngashakisha icyo nakora kugira ngo arusheho kumererwa neza.” Hari igitabo kigira kiti “ni ibisanzwe ko iyo ubonye umuntu ukunda yarazahajwe n’indwara cyangwa yaranegekajwe n’impanuka wumva ubabaye cyane. Ikintu cyiza kurusha ibindi wakora mu mimerere nk’iyo, ni ukumureba mu maso, maze ukamufata uko ari utitaye ku burwayi bwe.”—The Needs of the Dying—A Guide for Bringing Hope, Comfort, and Love to Life’s Final Chapter.

Ni iby’ukuri ko kugira ngo ubigenze utyo bisaba umuco wo kwirinda no kwiyemeza. Umugenzuzi w’Umukristo witwa Georges ukunda gusura abantu barwaye indwara zidakira yabivuze muri aya magambo: “urukundo dukunda mugenzi wacu rugomba kuba ari rwinshi ku buryo uburwayi bwe butatubuza kumuha ubufasha akeneye.” Iyo witaye ku muntu ukunda aho kwibanda ku burwayi bwe, mwembi bibagirira akamaro. Yvonne warwaje abana bari barwaye kanseri yaravuze ati “kumenya ko ushobora gufasha abarwayi gukomeza kugira icyubahiro bigufasha kwita ku buzima bwabo bugenda burushaho kuzahara.”

Jya uhora witeguye gutega amatwi

Hari abantu bashobora kumva badashaka gusura umuntu uri hafi gupfa nubwo baba bamukunda cyane. Ibyo babiterwa n’iki? Baba bahangayikishijwe n’uko batazabona icyo bavuga. Ariko kandi, Anne-Catherine uherutse kurwaza umuntu w’incuti ye wari urwaye indwara idakira yavuze ko no guceceka bigira icyo bimara. Yagize ati “ntiduhumuriza abarwayi binyuze mu byo tuvuga gusa, ahubwo nanone tubahumuriza binyuze mu myifatire yacu. Gukurura agatebe tukicara, tukabegera, tukabafata ukuboko, kandi ntidutinye kurira tugaragaza uko twumva tumeze, ibyo byose bigaragaza ko tubitaho.”

Birashoboka ko umuntu ukunda aba ashaka kugaragaza uko yumva ameze, kandi akabibwira abandi nta cyo abakinze, nta n’icyo yishisha. Incuro nyinshi ariko, uwo murwayi aba azi neza ko incuti ze ziba zihangayitse, bityo akirinda kuzibwira ibibazo bye bikomeye. Nanone, incuti n’abavandimwe bashobora kwirinda kuvugana n’umurwayi ku bintu by’ingenzi bimureba bibwira ko bamugiriye neza, bakaba banamuhisha amakuru arebana n’uburwayi bwe. None se, ni izihe ngaruka ziterwa no kumuhisha ayo makuru? Hari umuganga wita ku bantu barwaye indwara zidakira wabisobanuye avuga ko imihati abantu bashyiraho bahisha umurwayi ukuri, “ituma imihati y’ingenzi kurushaho yo kumufasha kwemera uburwayi bwe iba imfabusa. Nanone, ituma atabasha gusobanurira abandi uburwayi bwe ndetse no guhangana na bwo.” Ku bw’ibyo, niba umurwayi yifuza kuganira ku mimerere arimo mu buryo bweruye, mwagombye kubimwemerera, ndetse mukanaganira ku bihereranye n’uko ashobora gupfa.

Iyo abagaragu b’Imana bo mu gihe cyahise babaga benda gupfa, bahitaga babwira Yehova Imana ibibahangayikishije. Urugero, igihe Umwami Hezekiya wari ufite imyaka 39 yamenyaga ko agiye gupfa, yavuze ko yihebye (Yesaya 38:9-12, 18-20). Mu buryo nk’ubwo, abantu barwaye indwara zidakira bagomba guhabwa uburyo bwo kugaragaza agahinda baterwa n’uko bagiye gupfa bakenyutse. Bashobora kuba bahangayikishijwe n’uko batagishoboye kugera ku ntego zabo, urugero nko gukora ingendo, kugira abana, kubona abuzukuru babo bakura cyangwa gukorera Imana mu buryo bwuzuye. Bashobora no kuba bahangayikishijwe n’uko incuti zabo n’abavandimwe babo bazabatererana babitewe no kutamenya uko babyifatamo (Yobu 19:16-18). Nanone, abo barwayi bashobora guhangayikishwa cyane no gutinya ububabare, kuba umubiri wabo utagikora neza, cyangwa  bagahangayikishwa no gupfa ubwabyo.

Anne-Catherine yaravuze ati “ni iby’ingenzi ko ureka uwo muntu w’incuti yawe akavuga yisanzuye, ntumuce mu ijambo, ntumunenge cyangwa ngo umubwire ko nta mpamvu afite zo kugira ubwoba. Ubwo ni bwo buryo bwiza cyane bwo kumenya neza ibyiyumvo n’ibyifuzo bye, ibimuhangayikishije cyangwa ibyo yiteze ko bizamubaho.”

Jya wiyumvisha ibintu by’ibanze umurwayi akeneye

Uburwayi bw’incuti yawe, wenda bwarushijeho gukomera bitewe n’imiti ikaze ndetse n’ingaruka iyo miti yaba yaramugizeho, bushobora kugutesha umutwe ku buryo wibagirwa ko ikintu cy’ingenzi umurwayi aba akeneye ari uburenganzira bwo kwihitiramo ibimunogeye.

Mu mico imwe n’imwe, abagize umuryango bashobora kugerageza kurinda umurwayi guhangayika bamuhisha ukuri ku bihereranye n’imimerere arimo, kugeza n’ubwo bamubuza uburenganzira bwe bwo kwifatira imyanzuro irebana n’uburyo bwo kwivuza. Mu yindi mico, hashobora kuvuka ikindi kibazo. Urugero, umuforomo witwa Jerry yaravuze ati “rimwe na rimwe abashyitsi bavuga umurwayi bahagaze iruhande rw’aho aryamye, nk’aho adahari.” Muri iyo mimerere yombi, iyo myitwarire itesha umurwayi agaciro.

Ikindi kintu cy’ibanze umurwayi aba akeneye ni ukugira icyizere. Mu bihugu byateye imbere mu by’ubuvuzi, incuro nyinshi iyo umurwayi azi ko ashobora kubona umuti wamuvura bimuha icyizere. Michelle warwaje nyina incuro eshatu igihe yari arwaye kanseri abisobanura agira ati “iyo mama yifuza guhindura umuti cyangwa kwisuzumisha ku wundi muganga, mbimufashamo. Naje kubona ko ngomba gushyira mu gaciro sinitege ko azahita akira, ariko nanone nkamubwira amagambo atanga icyizere.”

Byagenda bite se mu gihe ari nta cyizere cyo kubona umuti? Wibuke ko umuntu urwaye indwara idakira aba akeneye ko muganira mweruye ku bihereranye n’urupfu. Wa mugenzuzi w’Umukristo witwa Georges twigeze kuvuga yagize ati “kudahisha umurwayi ko agiye gupfa ni iby’ingenzi cyane. Ibyo bituma uwo muntu ashyira ibintu kuri gahunda kandi akitegura gupfa.” Iyo myiteguro ishobora gutuma umurwayi yumva ko yarangije gukora ibintu byose yashakaga gukora, kandi imihangayiko yari afite yo kumva ko azarushya abandi ikagabanuka.

Birumvikana ko kuganira kuri ibyo bintu bitoroha. Ariko kandi, kuganira mudaca ku ruhande biguha uburyo bwo kumugaragariza ibyiyumvo bivuye ku mutima umufitiye. Umuntu ugiye gupfa ashobora kuba yifuza kwiyunga n’abo yagiranye na bo ibibazo, akicuza cyangwa agasaba imbabazi. Ibyo biganiro bishobora gutuma ubucuti wari ufitanye n’uwo muntu bwiyongera.

Uko wahumuriza umurwayi ugiye gupfa

Wahumuriza ute umurwayi ugeze mu marembera y’ubuzima? Dogiteri  Ortiz twigeze kuvuga yaravuze ati “reka umurwayi akubwire ibintu bya nyuma yifuza. Mutege amatwi witonze, kandi niba bishoboka ugerageze kumukorera ibyo ashaka. Niba kandi bidashoboka, mubwize ukuri.”

Umuntu ugiye gupfa ashobora kuba yumva akeneye ko incuti ze za bugufi zimuba hafi kurusha mbere hose. Georges yaravuze ati “fasha umurwayi kuvugana n’incuti ze, nubwo bashobora kuvugana umwanya muto bitewe n’uko afite intege nke.” Nubwo bavugana kuri telefoni gusa, icyo kiganiro gituma baterana inkunga kandi bagasengera hamwe. Umugore w’Umunyakanada witwa Christina wapfushije abantu batatu yakundaga, abo bantu bakaba barapfuye bakurikirana, avuga ibyo yibuka agira ati “uko bagendaga begereza iherezo ry’ubuzima bwabo, ni ko bagendaga barushaho gukenera amasengesho y’incuti zabo z’Abakristo.”

Ese wagombye gutinya kuririra imbere y’uwo ukunda? Oya rwose. Mu by’ukuri iyo urize, uba uhaye incuti yawe igiye gupfa uburyo bwo kuguhumuriza. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “guhumurizwa n’umuntu uri hafi gupfa bitera inkunga cyane, kandi kuri we ibyo ni iby’ingenzi kurushaho” (The Needs of the Dying). Iyo uwo muntu wagiye yitabwaho ahumurije abandi, yongera kumva ameze nka mbere igihe yitaga ku bandi, ari incuti cyangwa umubyeyi uzi kwita ku bandi.

 Birumvikana ko imimerere ishobora kukubuza kuba uri kumwe n’incuti yawe mu masaha ya nyuma y’ubuzima bwayo. Icyakora, niba bishoboka ko uba uri kumwe n’incuti yawe mu bitaro cyangwa mu rugo, gerageza kuyifata ukuboko kugeza ipfuye. Icyo gihe cya nyuma mumarana kiguha uburyo bwo kugaragaza ibyiyumvo ushobora kuba utarakunze kumugaragariza. Ntukemere ko kuba nta cyo yumva cyangwa avuga bikubuza kumusezeraho cyangwa ngo bikubuze kumugaragariza ko umukunda kandi ko wizeye ko muzongera kubonana mu gihe cy’umuzuko.—Yobu 14:14, 15; Ibyakozwe 24:15.

Nukoresha neza icyo gihe cya nyuma mumarana, ushobora kutazagira icyo wicuza nyuma yaho. Mu by’ukuri, icyo gihe cya nyuma kiba kirangwa n’ibyiyumvo byinshi kizakubera isoko y’inkunga uzajya utekerezaho. Nubigenza utyo, uzaba waragaragaje ko uri incuti nyancuti mu gihe cy’‘amakuba.’—Imigani 17:17.

[Amagambo yatsindagirijwe yo ku ipaji ya 27]

Iyo witaye ku muntu ukunda aho kwibanda ku burwayi bwe, mwembi bibagirira akamaro

[Agasanduku/​Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 29]

Uko wakubahiriza uburenganzira bw’umurwayi

Mu bihugu byinshi, abantu bashyiraho imihati kugira ngo umuntu urwaye indwara idakira ahabwe uburenganzira bwe bwo gupfa mu mahoro kandi agifite icyubahiro. Inyandiko y’amabwiriza atanzwe mbere y’igihe igaragaza ibyifuzo by’umurwayi ituma ubwo burenganzira bwubahirizwa, kandi igatuma abarwayi bapfira mu rugo cyangwa mu kigo cyita ku barwayi, hakurikijwe ibyifuzo byabo.

Inyandiko y’amabwiriza atanzwe mbere y’igihe izafasha mu bintu bikurikira:

• Gutuma ibiganiro hagati ya bene wabo w’umurwayi n’abaganga bigenda neza

• Kuvaniraho abagize umuryango umutwaro wo gufatira umurwayi imyanzuro irebana n’uburyo bwo kuvurwa

• Gutuma hatagurwa imiti ihenze, idakenewe, itari bugire icyo imara, cyangwa ishobora kugira ingaruka mbi ku murwayi

Kugira ngo inyandiko y’amabwiriza atanzwe mbere y’igihe igire akamaro, igomba nibura kuba ikubiyemo ibintu bikurikira:

• Izina ry’umuntu wahaye uburenganzira bwo kugufatira imyanzuro ihereranye n’uburyo bwo kuvurwa

• Imiti uzemera cyangwa utazemera igihe ubuzima bwawe buzaba bugeze kure ku buryo nta cyakorwa ngo woroherwe

• Izina ry’umuganga uzi neza iby’ayo mahitamo yawe, niba bishoboka

[Ifoto yo ku ipaji ya 26]

Jya wibanda ku mibereho y’umurwayi n’ibyamubayeho mu gihe cyahise aho kwibanda ku mimerere arimo