Ibibazo by’abasomyi

Umukristokazi wizerwa agomba kurwanya igikorwa cyo gusaba ubutane cyatangijwe n’uwo bashakanye mu rugero rungana iki?

Igihe ishyingiranwa rya kimuntu ryatangiraga, Imana yavuze ko umugabo n’umugore bagomba kubana “akaramata” (Itangiriro 2:18-24). Abantu batakaje ubutungane, bituma mu miryango myinshi y’abashakanye habamo ibibazo byinshi, ariko Imana yifuza ko abashakanye bakomeza kubana akaramata. Intumwa Pawulo yaranditse iti “abamaze kurongorana ndabategeka; nyamara si jye, ahubwo ni Umwami wacu: umugore ye kwahukana n’umugabo we. Ariko niba yahukanye, abe igishubaziko, cyangwa yiyunge n’umugabo we: kandi umugabo ye gusenda umugore we.”—1 Abakorinto 7:10, 11.

Ayo magambo yemera ko mu bantu badatunganye hari ubwo umwe mu bashakanye afata umwanzuro wo kwigendera. Urugero, Pawulo yavuze ko iyo umwe mu bashakanye aramuka agiye, bombi bagombaga gukomeza ‘kuba ibishubaziko.’ Kubera iki? Ni koko, umwe mu bashakanye aba yagiye, ariko bombi baba bagihambiririwe hamwe mu maso y’Imana. Ibyo Pawulo yashoboraga kubivuga kubera ko Yesu yari yaragaragaje ihame rigenga ishyingiranwa ry’Abakristo agira ati “umuntu wese uzasenda umugore we, atamuhora gusambana [mu Kigiriki por·neiʹa], akarongora undi, azaba asambanye” (Matayo 19:9). Ni koko, impamvu imwe rukumbi ishobora gutuma abashakanye batana ishyingiranwa ryabo rikaba rirangiye mu buryo bwemewe n’Ibyanditswe, ni ‘ugusambana,’ ni ukuvuga kwiyandarika mu by’ibitsina. Uko bigaragara, mu mimerere Pawulo yerekezagaho, nta n’umwe mu bashakanye wari wiyandaritse, bityo igihe umugabo cyangwa umugore yari kwahukana, ishyingiranwa ntiryabaga rirangiye mu maso y’Imana.

Hanyuma, Pawulo yavuze ibihereranye n’Umukristo w’ukuri ufite uwo bashakanye utizera. Zirikana amabwiriza Pawulo yatanze agira ati “wa wundi utizera, niba ashaka gutana, atane. Mwene Data w’umugabo cyangwa umugore ntaba agihambiriwe iyo bimeze bityo, kuko Imana yaduhamagariye amahoro” (1 Abakorinto 7:12-16). Ni iki umugore wizerwa yakora mu gihe umugabo we utizera yaba amutaye, ndetse akajya no mu rukiko gusaba ko rubatanya?

Ashobora guhitamo ko bagumana. Ashobora kuba agikunda umugabo we, kandi akaba azirikana ibyo bombi bakeneye mu byiyumvo no mu birebana n’ibitsina, kandi akaba azi ko we n’abana bato ashobora kuba afitanye n’umugabo we, bakeneye ubaha ibyo kubatunga. Nanone kandi, ashobora kuba yiringiye ko nyuma y’igihe runaka umugabo we azizera maze akazakizwa. Ariko kandi, niba umugabo ateye intambwe zo gusesa ishyingiranwa (ku mpamvu zidashingiye ku Byanditswe), umugore ashobora kumureka ‘agatana,’ nk’uko Pawulo yabyanditse. Ni na ko byagenda umugabo wizera aramutse yirengagije uko Imana ibona ishyingiranwa agatsimbarara ku gitekerezo cyo guta umugore we.

Ariko kandi, igihe uwo mugore ari mu mimerere nk’iyo, ashobora gukenera ko amategeko amukingira we n’abana be. Mu buhe buryo? Ashobora kwifuza kugumana uburenganzira bwo kurera abana be akunda kugira ngo azashobore gukomeza kubagaragariza urukundo rwa kibyeyi, abatoze imico myiza, kandi abacengezemo ukwizera gushingiye ku nyigisho nziza za Bibiliya (2 Timoteyo 3:15). Ubutane bushobora kumwambura uburenganzira bwe. Ni yo mpamvu ashobora gufata ingamba zo kugira ngo hagire umuhagararira mu buryo bukwiriye imbere y’ubutegetsi kugira ngo arinde uburenganzira bwe bwo kugira uruhare ku bana be, kandi yizere adashidikanya ko umugabo we ategetswe gutanga ibizajya bitunga umuryango atereranye. Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, umugore urwanya iby’ubutane ashobora gushyira umukono ku nyandiko zemewe n’amategeko zigena uko bizagenda ku kibazo cyo kurera abana n’amafaranga yo kubatunga, bitabaye ngombwa ko yemera iby’ubutane umugabo we ashaka. Mu bindi bihugu ho, amagambo akubiye muri izo nyandiko agaragaza ko yemeye ubutane; bityo, niba umugabo we yarasambanye, umugore aramutse ashyize umukono kuri izo nyandiko, byaba bisobanura ko amwanze.

Abenshi mu karere atuyemo no mu itorero bashobora kutamenya ibintu byose uko byagenze, wenda nko kumenya niba ubutane bwarabonetse mu buryo buhuje n’Ibyanditswe. Ariko kandi, mbere y’uko ibintu bigera iyo yose, byaba ari iby’ubwenge uwo mugore amenyesheje umugenzuzi uhagarariye itorero n’undi musaza uko ibintu byagenze, (byarushaho kuba byiza abikoze mu nyandiko). Muri ubwo buryo, ibyo bazabyifashisha haramutse havutse ikibazo—icyo gihe cyangwa se nyuma y’aho.

Nimucyo tugaruke ku magambo ya Yesu agira ati “umuntu wese uzasenda umugore we, atamuhora gusambana, akarongora undi, azaba asambanye.” Niba koko umugabo ahamwa n’icyaha cy’ubusambanyi ariko akaba yifuza kugumana n’umugore we, uwo mugore  (we wahemukiwe uvugwa mu rugero rwa Yesu) agomba guhitamo niba yamubabarira bagakomeza gusangira uburiri bw’abashakanye cyangwa akamureka. Niba yifuza kubabarira umugabo we w’isezerano kandi akagumana na we, kubigenza atyo ntibituma aba yanduye mu by’umuco.—Hoseya 1:1-3; 3:1-3.

Mu gihe umugabo w’umusambanyi ashaka ko batana, umugore ashobora kuba agishaka kumubabarira, yiringiye ko wenda yazamugarukira. Uwo mugore ni we ugomba kureba niba azarwanya igikorwa cy’umugabo we cyo gusaba ubutane, ashingiye ku mutimanama we n’imimerere arimo. Mu bihugu bimwe na bimwe, umugore urwanya ibyo gutana, ashobora gushyira umukono ku nyandiko zigaragaza uko bizagenda ku kibazo cyo kurera abana be n’amafaranga yo kubatunga azajya ahabwa, bitabaye ngombwa ko agaragaza ko yemeye ubutane; gushyira umukono kuri izo mpapuro ubwabyo, ntibigaragaza ko yanze umugabo we. Ariko kandi, mu bindi bihugu umugore urwanya ubutane, ashobora gusabwa gushyira umukono ku nyandiko zigaragaza ko yemeye ubutane; gushyira umukono kuri bene izo nyandiko, byagaragaza rwose ko yanze umugabo we uhamwa n’icyaha.

Kugira ngo umuntu yirinde ibintu bishobora kumvikana nabi, muri iyi mimerere na ho byaba ari iby’ubwenge umugore agiye aha abahagarariye itorero ibaruwa igaragaza intambwe zirimo ziterwa hamwe n’imyifatire igendana na zo. Ashobora kuvuga ko yabwiye umugabo we ko yari yiteguye kumubabarira agakomeza kumubera umugore. Ibyo byaba bisobanura ko batanye atabyifuzaga; ko aho kwanga umugabo we, yari yiteguye kumubabarira. Mu gihe yaba amaze kugaragaza neza muri ubwo buryo ko yari yiteguye kubabarira kandi akagumana n’umugabo we, gushyira umukono ku nyandiko zigaragaza gusa ukuntu ibibazo byerekeranye n’amafaranga no kurera abana bizakemurwa, ntibyaba bigaragaza ko yanze umugabo we. *

Mu gihe agaragaje ko yiteguye kubabarira, ndetse na nyuma yo gutana, ari we, ari n’umugabo we, nta n’umwe waba afite umudendezo wo gushakana n’undi. Niba umugore yarahemukiwe kandi imbabazi ze zikangwa nyuma y’aho ahisemo kwanga umugabo bitewe n’ubwiyandarike bwe, icyo gihe bombi baba bafite uwo mudendezo. Yesu yagaragaje ko uwahemukiwe mu bashakanye afite uburenganzira bwo gufata umwanzuro nk’uwo.—Matayo 5:32; 19:9; Luka 16:18.

[Ibisobanuro ahagana hasi ku ipaji]