Umuhungu wawe w’imyaka itanu arimo arakinira mu kindi cyumba. Ugiye kumva, wumva ibintu biramenetse. Urirutse ujya kureba ibibaye, maze usanga ahagaze iruhande rw’ivazi yamenetse. Kumureba mu maso byonyine, bihise bikwereka ko hari icyo yishinja.

Umubajije udaciye ku ruhande uti “ni wowe umennye iyi vazi?”

Ahise agusubiza ati “oya mama, nta yo namennye.”

Uwo mwana wawe w’imyaka itanu si bwo bwa mbere akubeshye. Ese byagombye kuguhangayikisha?

Ibinyoma byose ni bibi. Bibiliya ivuga ko Yehova Imana yanga “ururimi rubeshya” (Imigani 6:16, 17). Mu Mategeko yahawe Abisirayeli harimo ibihano byahabwaga umuntu wabeshyaga mugenzi we.—Abalewi 19:11, 12.

Icyakora ibinyoma byose ntibinganya uburemere. Hari ibinyoma byangiza biba bigamije kugirira abandi nabi. Hari n’igihe umuntu abeshya bitewe n’uko yokejwe igitutu, wenda agira ngo adakorwa n’isoni cyangwa adahanwa (Intangiriro 18:12-15). Nubwo ibinyoma byose ari bibi, hari ibinyoma bibi cyane kuruta ibindi. Ku bw’ibyo, niba umwana wawe abeshye, ujye uzirikana imyaka afite umenye n’impamvu yatumye akubeshya.

Mwagombye gutangira kumutoza kuva akiri muto. Dogiteri David Walsh yaranditse ati “abana bagombye kwigishwa isomo ry’ingenzi ryo kuvugisha ukuri, cyane cyane mu gihe bigoye. Kugira ngo abantu babane neza bagomba kwizerana kandi iyo umuntu abeshya atakarizwa icyizere.” *

Icyakora ntibikaguhangayikishe cyane. Kuba umwana wawe abeshya ntibivuga ko agenda arushaho kuba mubi. Wibuke ko Bibiliya igira iti “ubupfapfa buhambiriwe ku mutima w’umwana” (Imigani 22:15). Hari abana bagaragaza ubwo bupfapfa babeshya, wenda batekereza ko ari bwo buryo bwiza bwo kwirinda guhanwa. Ubwo rero uko ubyitwaramo ni iby’ingenzi cyane.

Gerageza gutahura impamvu umwana wawe abeshya. Ese biterwa no gutinya igihano? Ese ntiyaba abiterwa n’uko adashaka kukubabaza? Ese niba umwana wawe ahimba inkuru agamije kwemerwa n’incuti ze, aho ntibyaba biterwa n’uko akiri umwana bityo akaba adashobora kumenya itandukaniro riri hagati y’inkuru y’ukuri n’amakabyankuru? Iyo umaze kumenya impamvu zituma umwana wawe abeshya, kumukosora birakorohera.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: 1 Abakorinto 13:11.

Ujye ukoresha imvugo yemeza aho gukoresha ibibazo. Mu kiganiro kigufi cyavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi nkuru, umubyeyi wari umaze kwibonera ibyabaye yabajije umwana we yarakaye ati “ni wowe umennye iyi vazi?” Umwana ashobora kuba yaramubeshye bitewe n’uko wenda yatinyaga ko yamwuka inabi. Aho kugira ngo amubaze ikibazo asa n’umushinja icyaha, yashoboraga kuvuga ati “yoo! Ya vazi urayimennye!” Iyo umubyeyi akoresha imvugo yemeza aho gukoresha ikibazo, byashoboraga gutuma uwo mwana atagerageza kumubeshya kandi bikamutoza kuba inyangamugayo.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abakolosayi 3:9.

Jya ugaragaza agaciro ko kuba inyangamugayo. Ubusanzwe abana baba bifuza gushimisha ababyeyi. Ku bw’ibyo, ujye uhera kuri icyo cyifuzo maze umutoze kuba inyangamugayo. Jya wereka umwana wawe ko kuba inyangamugayo ari iby’ingenzi cyane mu muryango, bityo ukaba umwitezeho kuvugisha ukuri.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abaheburayo 13:18.

Jya wereka umwana wawe ko iyo umuntu abeshye abandi bamutakariza icyizere, kandi ko kugira ngo akigarurirwe bifata igihe kirekire. Jya umushishikariza kugira imyifatire myiza umushimira mu gihe avugishije ukuri. Urugero, ushobora kuvuga uti “mwana wa, nshimishwa n’uko uvugisha ukuri.”

Jya utanga urugero rwiza. Ntushobora kwitega ko umwana wawe avugisha ukuri niba ajya yumva wenda uvuga uti “bwira kanaka ko ntahari,” kandi wenda ari uko udashaka kuvugana na we kuri telefoni, cyangwa uti “uyu munsi nta hantu njya ndarwaye,” kandi wenda ushaka kwiruhukira.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Yakobo 3:17.

Jya ukoresha Bibiliya. Amahame yayo n’inkuru zivugwamo bigaragaza ko kuba inyangamugayo ari iby’ingenzi. Igitabo Reka Umwigisha Ukomeye akwigishe, cyanditswe n’Abahamya ba Yehova, gishobora kugufasha gutoza umwana wawe amahame yo muri Bibiliya. Igice cya 22 kigira kiti “Impamvu tugomba kwirinda kubeshya.” (Reba bimwe mu bikubiye muri icyo gice mu gasanduku gafite umutwe ugira uti “ Igitabo kigenewe gufasha abana bawe.”)