Muri iyi ngingo turasuzuma

•  Ni iyihe nshingano umubyeyi w’umugabo afite?

•  Kuki kuba umubyeyi w’umugabo ari inshingano yihariye?

•  Abakobwa na ba se

•  Inama zigenewe ababyeyi b’abagabo

•   Mbere y’uko umwana avuka. Uko umugabo yitwara ataragira abana bigaragaza uwo azaba ari we nagira abana. Igitabo kitwa Do Fathers Matter? cyaravuze kiti:

   “Umugabo wita k’uwo bashakanye utwite bakajyana kugura ibyo azakenera, akamuherekeza kwa muganga, akareba umwana akoresheje mu byuma byo kwa muganga cyangwa akumva uko umutima w’umwana utera, uwo ni we uzakomeza kwita cyane ku mugore we ndetse no ku mwana nyuma yo kuvuka.”

   “Sinifuzaga ko umugore wanjye yumva ko namutereranye igihe yari atwite, ubwo rero namufashaga uko nshoboye kose. Twanafatanyije gutunganya icyumba cy’umwana. Cyari igihe kihariye kuri twese, kuko twari dufite amatsiko y’umwana wacu.”—James.

   Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Mutita ku nyungu zanyu bwite mwibanda gusa ku bibareba, ahubwo nanone mwite ku nyungu z’abandi.”—Abafilipi 2:4.

•   Nyuma y’uko umwana avutse. Ushobora kurushaho kuba incuti n’umwana wawe umuterura kandi mugakina. Jya ufata umwanya wo kumwitaho. Ibintu umubyeyi w’umugabo akorera umwana bigira uruhare rukomeye mu gutuma akura neza. Ubucuti ugirana n’umwana wawe bugaragaza ko ubona ko ari uw’agaciro cyane.

   “Jya uca bugufi. Mukine. Mutere urwenya. Ntukaremereze ibintu. Jya wibuka ko ari wowe ugomba gufata iya mbere mu kwigisha umwana wawe icyo urukundo ari cyo.”—Richard.

   Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Dore abana ni umurage uturuka kuri Yehova, Kandi imbuto z’inda ni ingororano.”—Zaburi 127:3.

•   Uko umwana wawe agenda akura. Ubushakashatsi bugaragaza ko abana bafitanye ubucuti na ba papa babo batsinda neza ku ishuri, ntibakunda kugira ibibazo bikomeye birebana n’ibyiyumvo, nanone ntibakunze kwishora mu biyobyabwenge n’urugomo. Jya ufata igihe gihagije ugirane ubucuti n’umwana wawe.

   “Igihe umuhungu wanjye yajyaga kwibana, yambwiye ko ikintu gikomeye yahombye ari ibiganiro twagiranaga igihe twabaga twakoze urugendo rurerure mu modoka cyangwa mu gihe twabaga turi gufata amafunguro ya nimugoroba. Bimwe mu biganiro byiza twagiranaga byazaga ntabyiteguye. Ibyo byaterwaga n’uko twamaranaga umwanya munini turi hamwe”—Dennis.

   Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Mwirinde cyane kugira ngo mutagenda nk’abatagira ubwenge, ahubwo mugende nk’abanyabwenge, mwicungurira igihe gikwiriye.”—Abefeso 5:15, 16.

 Kuva kera abantu babonaga ko abagabo bafite inshingano yo kwita ku byo umuryango ukeneye no kuwurinda mu buryo bw’umubiri, mu gihe abagore bo bafatwa nk’abashobora kwita cyane ku byo abagize umuryango bakeneye mu buryo bw’ibyiyumvo (Gutegeka 1:31; Yesaya 49:15). Ariko mu miryango imwe n’imwe, izo nshingano umuntu ashobora kuzisohoza zombi. Icyakora, abashakashatsi bavuga ko umubyeyi w’umugabo cyangwa uw’umugore, buri wese agira uruhare rwihariye mu burere bw’umwana. a

 Umushakashatsi mu byerekeranye n’umuryango witwa Judith Wallerstein yavuze ibyamubayeho ku giti cye birebana n’iyi ngingo. Yaranditse ati: “Igihe umukobwa wanjye w’imyaka 12 yagongwaga n’imodoka, yifuzaga ko papa we ari we umushyira muri ambilansi akamujyana kwa muganga kubera ko yari yizeye ko ari we wamwitaho neza. Ageze kwa muganga, yifuzaga ko mwicara iruhande umunsi wose nkamuhumuriza.” b

 “Umugabo ashobora gutuma abagize umuryango bumva batuje kandi bafite umutekano, ariko ibyo bishobora kugora umugore kubigeraho. Nanone umubyeyi w’umugore atuma abagize umuryango bumva bakunzwe kandi bitaweho. Icyakora bombi bakorera hamwe nk’ikipe.”—Daniel.

 Ihame rya Bibiliya: “Mwana wanjye, jya utega amatwi impanuro za so kandi ntukareke icyo nyoko agutegeka..”—Imigani 1:8.

 Umwana w’umukobwa, yigira kuri papa we uko abantu b’igitsina gabo bagombye kumufata. Ibyo abyiga mu buryo bubiri bukurikira:

•   Yitegereza uko ufata mama we. Iyo ukunda kandi ukubaha umugore wawe, bifasha umukobwa wawe kwiga imico izamufasha mu buzima bwe bw’ejo hazaza igihe azaba amaze kuba umugore.—1 Petero 3:7.

•   Yitegereza uko umufata. Iyo wubaha umukobwa wawe, uba umwigisha kwiyubaha. Binamwigisha uko abandi bagabo baba bagomba kumwubaha.

   Ibinyuranye n’ibyo, guhora unenga umukobwa wawe bituma yitakariza icyizere, bikaba byatuma ashakisha abandi bagabo bamwemera, kandi abo bagabo bashobora kumwangiza aho kumufasha.

   “Umukobwa ukundwa na papa we kandi akaba anamushyigikira ntakururwa n’umugabo uwo ari we wese udafite imico iranga umugabo mwiza.”—Wayne.