MHLAWUMBI kuya kukothusa ukuva ukuba kwezi meko zimbini sithetha ngabantu abanye.

Njengamadoda amaninzi abetha abafazi bawo, uThabo uyakwazi ukuzenza ngathi ulilungisa xa ephambi kwabanye abantu okanye xa kukho abazali benkosikazi yakhe. Kodwa xa ehleli nomfazi wakhe, uThabo yingonyama.

Amadoda amaninzi afana noThabo akhuliswe  ngabazali ababesilwa, ngoko nawo acinga ukuba akhonto imbi ngokubetha umfazi. Kodwa ke akho kwanto intle ngokubethwa komfazi. Yiloo nto abantu abaninzi becaphuka xa besiva ukuba indoda ethile ibethe umfazi wayo.

Sekunjalo, ixhaphakile into yokubethwa kwabafazi ngamadoda abo. Ngokomzekelo, olunye uphando olwenziwa eMerika lwafumanisa ukuba ngenye imini kwafowuna abantu abangaphezu kwe-16 ngomzuzu nje omnye bechaza ngokubethwa kwabafazi. Abafazi babethwa ehlabathini lonke, ngabantu bazo zonke iinkcubeko, izityebi, amahlwempu kunye namanye amaqela ahlukahlukeneyo. Ekubeni abantu abaninzi bengayichazi emapoliseni nakwabasemagunyeni le ngxaki, sinokuqiniseka ukuba baninzi kakhulu abantu ababethwayo. *

Xa sisiva ngamadoda abetha abafazi bawo, sizibuza le mibuzo: Inoba ingenwe yintoni indoda exhaphaza omnye umntu ngolo hlobo—ingakumbi umfazi wayo? Ngaba anako ukuncedwa amadoda abetha abafazi bawo?

AmaNgqina kaYehova, abapapashi beli phephancwadi bakholelwa ukuba iBhayibhile ingawanceda loo madoda. Ngaba loo nto ingenzeka lula? Hayi. Kodwa ke ngaba inokwenzeka? Ewe! IBhayibhile iye yanceda abantu abaninzi ababekade beziindlobongela, batshintsha baza baba nobubele nembeko. (Kolose 3:8-10) Ngokomzekelo, makhe sithethe noTroy noValerie.

Naniphethene njani ekuqaleni?

UValerie: Ngobusuku awacela ngabo umtshato, uTroy wandiqhwaba ndanemivumbo iveki yonke. Waguqa ngamadolo endicenga  ukuba ndimxolele, esithi soze aphinde. Kwaqengqeleka iminyaka emva koko, emane endibetha aze axolise esithi soze aphinde.

UTroy: Ndandicatshukiswa nayinto engenamsebenzi—njengaxa ukutya kuye kwaphakwa emva kwexesha. Ngenye imini ndakha ndambetha ngomva wompu uValerie. Ngenye imini ndambethela ugqirha nezicaka, kangangokuba ndandicinga ukuba ndimbulele. Emva koko, ndanqakula unyana wethu ndaza ndambeka ibhozo emqaleni, ndigrogrisa unina ukuba ndiza kumbulala.

UValerie: Ndandiphila ubomi bentshontsho. Ngezinye iimini kwakukhe kufuneke ndibaleke ndize ndibuye emva kokuba umsindo kaTroy uthomalele. Nangona wayendibetha, amazwi akhe yeyona nto yayindisika.

Troy, ngaba ubusoloko unje?

UTroy: Ewe, ukususela ebuntwaneni. Ekhaya kwakusoloko kusiliwa. Utata wayesoloko ebetha umama phambi kwethu. Emva kokuba utata esishiyile, umama wahlalisana nenye indoda, ibe nayo yayimbetha. Yada yadlwengula udadewethu—kunye nam. Ngenxa yoko yabanjwa. Kakade ke, ndiyaqonda ukuba oku akundithetheleli.

Valerie, kwakutheni ukuze ungamshiyi uTroy?

UValerie: Ndandisoyika. Ndandisoyika ukuba uza kundikhangela aze andibulale okanye abulale abazali bam. Ndandisithi ukuba ndiya emapoliseni usenokundibetha nangakumbi.

Zaqalisa nini ukutshintsha izinto?

UTroy: Umfazi wam waqalisa ukufunda iBhayibhile namaNgqina kaYehova. Ekuqaleni, ndandingawathandi ibe ndandicinga ukuba ndifanele ndikhusele umkam kule cawa yoovuk’ engceni abayingozi. Ngoko ndathi chatha aph’ ekumbetheni, kuquka naloo maNgqina na kakade. Kodwa ke, uDaniel unyana wethu owayeneminyaka emine nowayexhuzula walaliswa esibhedlele kangangeeveki ezintathu. Ngelo xesha, amaNgqina asinceda gqitha, de anyamekela nentombi yethu eyayineminyaka emithandathu uDesiree. Emva kokuba lisebenze ubusuku bonke, elinye iNgqina leza kuhlala noDaniel ukuze uValerie akhe aphumle aze alale. Ndayithanda gqitha indlela ababenobubele  ngayo aba bantu nangona mna ndandiye ndabaphatha ngokusa. Ndaqonda ukuba ndiwafumene amaKristu okwenene, ngoko ndacela amaNgqina ukuba andifundise iBhayibhile. Njengoko sasifunda iBhayibhile, ndafunda ngendlela indoda emele imphathe ngayo umfazi wayo. Ndohlukana nokuba nomsindo ndaza ndayeka ukuthanda ukulwa. Ekugqibeleni, ndaba liNgqina likaYehova.

Ziziphi iivesi zeBhayibhile ezakunceda watshintsha?

UTroy: Zininzi. Kweyo-1 kaPetros 3:7 iBhayibhile ithi ndifanele ndimphathe ‘ngembeko’ umfazi wam. AmaGalati 5:23 athi sifanele sibe ‘nobulali’ ‘nokuzeyisa’. Kweyabase-Efese 4:31 kuthiwa asifanele ‘sitshabhise.’ KumaHebhere 4:13 kuthiwa “zonke izinto . . . zibhencekile” kuThixo. Ngoko, uThixo uyazibona izinto endizenzayo enoba abamelwane bam abaziboni. Ndaye ndohlukana nabahlobo ababi, kuba “unxulumano olubi lonakalisa imikhwa elungileyo.” (1 Korinte 15:33) Abahlobo bam babeyiqhwabel’ izandla indlela endandimphatha ngayo umfazi wam. Babesithi umfazi ufanelwe abethwe ukuze afakwe endleleni.

Kunjani ngoku emtshatweni wakho?

UValerie: Ngoku sekuyiminyaka engama-25 uTroy eliNgqina likaYehova. Ukususela ngoko, ebendiphatha ngothando, ububele novelwano.

UTroy: Andinakukwazi ukuzitshintsha izinto endazenza entsatsheni yam, ibe ndandingafanele ndimphathe ngendlela endamphatha ngayo umfazi wam. Kodwa ndiyilinde ngamehl’ abomvu inzaliseko kaIsaya 65:17, xa siya kuzilibala zonke izinto ezibuhlungu.

Ningazicebisa nithini iintsapho ezinale ngxaki yokulwa?

UTroy: Ukuba ubetha umfazi okanye uyamthuka, kufuneka uvume ukuba udinga uncedo, uze ulufune. Zininzi izinto ezinokukunceda. Mna ndancedwa kukufundiswa iBhayibhile ngamaNgqina kaYehova, ibe andinceda ndayeka ukuphakamisa izigalo.

UValerie: Musa ukukhawuleza uthelekise umzi wakho nowabanye abantu, okanye uphulaphule icebiso labantu abacinga ukuba bayayazi into ofanele uyenze. Nangona bengayi kuphumelela bonke abantu abahlalayo emtshatweni wabo, ndiyavuya kuba ndingazange ndincame kuba ngoku sonwabile.

IBhayibhile ithi: “Sonke iSibhalo siphefumlelwe nguThixo kwaye siyingenelo ekufundiseni, ekohlwayeni, ekulungelelaniseni izinto.” (2 Timoti 3:16) NjengoTroy ekuthethwe ngaye ngasentla, amadoda amaninzi awayekade ebetha abafazi bawo aye athobela iBhayibhile aza akwazi ukutshintsha.

Ngaba ungathanda ukufunda ngendlela iBhayibhile enokuwunceda ngayo umtshato wakho? Thetha namaNgqina kaYehova endawo ohlala kuyo okanye ungene kwi-www.jw.org./xh/.