1-3. Ndi mavuto otani amene anthu okwatilana amakumana nao? (Onani cithunzi cili pamwamba.)

MWAMUNA wina amene wakhala m’banja lacimwemwe kwa zaka 38 anati: “Ngati mumacita khama kuti banja lanu likhale lolimba, Yehova adzakudalitsani.” Zoonadi, n’zotheka kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi azisangalala m’banja ndi kuthandizana panthawi zovuta.—Miy. 18:22.

² Komabe, si zacilendo kwa anthu okwatilana kukumana ndi “nsautso m’thupi mwao.” (1 Akor. 7:28) Cifukwa ciani? N’cifukwa cakuti mavuto a tsiku ndi tsiku angasokoneze mgwilizano m’banja. Kukhumudwitsana, kusamvetsetsana, ndi kusalankhulana bwino, kungabweletse mavuto ngakhale m’mabanja ogwilizana kwambili. (Yak. 3:2, 5, 8) Okwatilana ambili amagwila nchito yopanikiza kwambili komanso kusamalila ana. Cifukwa ca kupanikizika ndi kukhala wotopa, mabanja ena amavutika kupeza nthawi yofunikila kuti alimbitse cikwati cao. Mavuto a zacuma, matenda, ndi mavuto ena zingacepetse cikondi ndi ulemu m’banja lao. Komanso, banja limene lingaoneke lolimba likhoza kuonongedwa ndi “nchito za thupi,”  monga dama, khalidwe lotayilila, udani, ndeu, nsanje, kupsa mtima, ndi mikangano.—Agal. 5:19-21.

³ Kuonjezela pa mavuto amenewa, “m’masiku otsiliza” ano anthu ndi odzikonda ndipo salemekeza Mulungu. Makhalidwe amenewa angaononge cikwati. (2 Tim. 3:1-4) Vuto lina ndi lakuti mdani wankhanza ndi wofunitsitsa kuononga mabanja. Mtumwi Petulo anaticenjeza kuti: “Mdani wanu Mdyerekezi akuyendayenda uku ndi uku ngati mkango wobangula, wofunitsitsa kuti umeze winawake.”—1 Pet. 5:8; Chiv. 12:12.

4. Zingatheke bwanji kukhala ndi banja lolimba ndi lacimwemwe?

⁴ Mwamuna wina wokwatila ku Japan anati: “Ndinali ndi vuto la zacuma. Popeza kuti sindinakambilane vutoli ndi mkazi wanga, nayenso anali ndi nkhawa kwambili. Komanso, caposacedwapa mkazi wanga anadwala kwambili. Nthawi zina, tinali kukangana cifukwa ca vuto la zacuma limenelo.” N’zoona kuti mavuto ena a m’banja simungawapewe, koma sikuti mungalephele kuwathetsa. Okwatilana angakhale ndi banja lolimba ndi lacimwemwe cifukwa ca thandizo la Yehova. (Ŵelengani Salimo 127:1.) Tiyeni tikambilane njila zisanu zofunika kuti banja likhale lolimba ndi lacimwemwe. Tidzakambilananso cifukwa cake cikondi n’cofunika kuti cikwati cikhale colimba.

5, 6. N’ciani cimene amuna ndi akazi angacite kuti azilola Yehova kutsogolela banja lao?

⁵ Ngati okwatilana ndi okhulupilika ndipo amagonjela Yehova, cikwati cao cidzakhala ndi maziko olimba. (Ŵelengani Mlaliki 4:12.) Amuna ndi akazi angalole Yehova kutsogolela banja lao mwa kutsatila malangizo ake acikondi. Ponena za anthu akale a Mulungu, Baibulo limati: “Makutu ako adzamva mau kumbuyo kwako, akuti, ‘Njila ndi iyi. Yendani mmenemu anthu inu.’ Yendani m’njila imeneyi kuti musasocele n’kuloŵela kudzanja lamanja kapena lamanzele.” (Yes. 30:20, 21) Masiku ano, okwatilana ‘angamvele’ mau a Yehova mwa kuŵelengela pamodzi Mau ake. (Sal. 1:1-3) Ndipo angalimbitsenso cikwati cao mwa kucita Kulambila kwa Pabanja kosangalatsa ndi kotsitsimula mwa kuuzimu. Kupemphela pamodzi tsiku ndi tsiku n’kofunika kwambili kuti banja lizikaniza misampha ya Satana.

⁶ Gerhard, mwamuna wina wa ku Germany, anati: “Tikakhala ndi mavuto kapena tikakhumudwitsana, malangizo a m’Mau a Mulungu amatithandiza kukhala oleza mtima ndi okhululukilana.” Makhalidwe amenewa ndi ofunika kwambili kuti banja likhale lopambana. Ngati okwatilana amacita khama kulola Mulungu kutsogolela banja lao mwa kucitila pamodzi zinthu za kuuzimu, io amayandikila Mulungu, ndipo amakondana kwambili.

7. Kodi amuna ayenela kuonetsa motani umutu wao?

⁷ Mmene mwamuna amacitila zinthu zingathandize kuti banja likhale lolimba ndi lacimwemwe. Baibulo limati: “Mutu wa mwamuna aliyense ndi Kristu. Mutu wa mkazi ndi mwamuna.”  (1 Akor. 11:3) Lemba limeneli limalimbikitsa amuna kuti ayenela kutsatila mmene Kristu amacitila umutu wake kwa amuna. Yesu sanali kupondeleza anthu kapena kuwacitila nkhanza. Koma nthawi zonse iye anali  wacikondi, wokoma mtima, wololela, wofatsa, ndi wodzicepetsa.—Mat. 11:28-30.

8. N’ciani cimene mwamuna ayenela kucita kuti mkazi wake azim’konda ndi kumulemekeza?

⁸ Amuna acikristu safunika kukakamiza akazi ao kuti aziwalemekeza. M’malo mwake, io ‘amapitiliza kukhala ndi akazi ao mowadziŵa bwino, ndi kuwapatsa ulemu monga ciwiya cosalimba.’ (1 Pet. 3:7) Amuna angaonetse kuti amaona akazi ao kukhala a mtengo wapatali mwa kulankhula nao mwaulemu ndi mokoma mtima kaya ali pamaso pa anthu kapena ali paokha. (Miy. 31:28) Kucita umutu mwanjila imeneyi kudzacititsa kuti akazi ao adziwakonda ndi kuwalemekeza, ndipo Mulungu adzadalitsa banja lao.

9. Kodi mkazi angaonetse bwanji kuti amagonjela modzicepetsa?

⁹ Cikondi ceniceni pa Yehova cozikidwa pa mfundo zake, cidzatithandiza kukhala odzicepetsa “pansi pa dzanja lamphamvu la Mulungu.” (1 Pet. 5:6) Njila imodzi yofunika imene mkazi wogonjela amaonetsela kuti amalemekeza ulamulilo wa Yehova ndi kukhala wogwilizana ndi mwamuna wake ndiponso wothandiza m’banja. Baibulo limati: “Inu akazi, muzigonjela amuna anu, pakuti zimenezi ndiye zoyenela kwa anthu otsatila Ambuye.” (Akol. 3:18) N’zoona kuti si nthawi zonse pamene mkazi angagwilizane ndi zosankha za mwamuna wake. Komabe, ngati zosankhazo sizisemphana ndi malamulo a Mulungu, mkazi wogonjela afunika kutsatila zimenezo.—1 Pet. 3:1.

10. N’cifukwa ciani kugonjela mwacikondi n’kofunika?

¹⁰ Mkazi ali ndi udindo wapamwamba wokhala “mnzake” wa mwamuna. (Mal. 2:14) Iye amapelekapo maganizo ake mwaulemu pa zosankha zimene zimakhudza banja lao, koma amakhalabe wogonjela. Mwamuna wanzelu amamvetsela mwachelu pamene mkazi wake anenapo maganizo ake. (Miy. 31:10-31) Kugonjela mwacikondi kumeneku kumacititsa kuti m’banja mukhale cimwemwe, mtendele, ndi mgwilizano. Ndipo amuna ndi  akazi amakhala okhutila podziŵa kuti akukondweletsa Mulungu.—Aef. 5:22.

11. N’cifukwa ciani kukhululukilana n’kofunika?

¹¹ Njila ina yofunika kwambili imene ingathandize kuti banja likhale lolimba ndiyo kukhululukilana. Cikwati cimalimba ngati amuna ndi akazi ‘apitiliza kulolelana ndi kukhululukilana ndi mtima wonse.’ (Akol. 3:13) Komabe, banja lingaonongeke ngati okwatilana amakumbutsana zolakwa zakale akakhumudwitsana. Mofanana ndi ming’alu imene ingacititse kuti nyumba igwe, madandaulo ndi mkwiyo zikayamba kukula mumtima mwathu, zingacititse kuti kukhale kovuta kwambili kukhululukilana. Koma ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi amakhululukilana potengela citsanzo ca Yehova, banja lao limakhala lolimba.—Mika 7:18, 19.

12. Kodi cikondi cimakwilila bwanji “macimo oculuka”?

¹² Cikondi ceniceni “sicisunga zifukwa,” koma ‘cimakwilila macimo oculuka.’ (1 Akor. 13:4, 5; ŵelengani 1 Petulo 4:8.) M’mau ena, cikondi cilibe malile a macimo amene tingakhululukile ena. Pamene mtumwi Petulo anafunsa kuti ndi nthawi zingati pamene angakhululukile mnzake, Yesu anam’yankha kuti: “Mpaka nthawi 77.” (Mat. 18:21, 22) Apa Yesu anali kutanthauza kuti palibe malile a nthawi imene Mkristu angakhululukile ena.—Miy. 10:12. *

13. Mungathetse bwanji mzimu wosakhululuka?

¹³ Mlongo wina dzina lake Annette anati: “Ngati okwatilana sakhululukilana, mkwiyo ndi kusadalilana zimakula. Ndipo zimenezi zimaononga banja. Kukhululukilana kumathandiza kuti banja likhale lolimba ndiponso kuti muyandikilane kwambili.” Kuti muthetse mzimu wosakhululuka, muyenela kucita khama kuti mukhale ndi mtima woyamikila. Muziyesetsa kuyamikila mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mocokela pansi pamtima. (Akol. 3:15) Mukatelo, mudzakhala ndi mtendele wa mumtima, mudzakhala ogwilizana, ndipo Mulungu adzakudalitsani.—Aroma 14:19.

14, 15. Kodi mfundo ya pa Luka 6:31 imatanthauza ciani? Nanga kutsatila mfundo imeneyi kungathandize bwanji okwatilana?

¹⁴ Mosakaikila, mumafuna kulemekezedwa. Mumayamikila ngati wina amazindikila zimene mufuna ndi kulemekeza maganizo anu. Koma mwina mwamvapo ena akukamba kuti, “Adzaona cimene cinameta nkhanga mpala.” Ngakhale kuti nthawi zina kulankhula mau amenewa kungakhale komveka, Baibulo limanena kuti: “Usanene kuti: ‘Ndim’citila zimene iye anandicitila.’” (Miy. 24:29) Yesu anafotokoza njila yabwino yothetsela mikangano. Iye anati: “Zimene mukufuna kuti anthu akucitileni, inuyo muwacitile zomwezo.” (Luka 6:31) Apa Yesu anatanthauza kuti tiyenela kucitila ena zinthu zimene tifuna kuti io aticitile, ndi kupewa kubwezela coipa pa coipa. Naonso okwatilana ayenela kucitilana zinthu zimene angafune kuti azicitilidwa.

¹⁵ Anthu okwatilana angalimbitse cikwati cao ngati amaganizila mmene  mnzao wa mu cikwati akumvelela. Mwamuna wina wokwatila ku South Africa anati: “Timayesa kutsatila mfundo ya pa Luka 6:31 m’banja lathu. N’zoona kuti nthawi zina timakhumudwitsana, koma timacita khama kuti tizilemekezana, cifukwa n’zimene timafuna m’banja lathu.”

16. N’ciani cimene okwatilana ayenela kupewa?

¹⁶ Muyenela kupewa kuuza ena zolakwa za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ngakhale mwanthabwala cabe, kapena kudandaulila ena za khalidwe la mnzanuyo limene mumakhumudwa nalo. Dziŵani kuti cikwati si mpikisano wodziŵila kuti wolimba ndani, wodziŵa kunyoza mofuula ndani, kapena wodziŵa kulankhula mokhadzula ndani. N’zoona kuti tonsefe tili ndi zofooka zinazake ndipo nthawi zina timakhumudwitsa ena. Komabe, palibe cifukwa comveka coti mwamuna kapena mkazi azilankhula mau onyoza ndi onyodola kwa mnzake, kapena kum’menya kumene.—Ŵelengani Miyambo 17:27; 31:26.

17. Kodi amuna ayenela kucita zinthu motani ndi akazi ao?

¹⁷ M’maiko ena, amuna amavutitsa akazi ao kapena kuwamenya pofuna kuonetsa kuti ndi olimba. Koma Baibulo limati: “Munthu wosakwiya msanga ndi wabwino kuposa munthu wamphamvu, ndipo munthu wolamulila mtima wake amaposa munthu wogonjetsa mzinda.” (Miy. 16:32) Munthu afunika kucita khama kuti akhale wodziletsa, monga mmene analili Yesu Kristu, munthu wamkulu woposa onse amene anakhalako. Mwamuna amene amavutitsa mkazi wake kapena kum’menya amaonetsa kuti ndi wofooka, ndipo amaononga ubwenzi wake ndi Yehova. Wamasalimo Davide, amene anali mwamuna wamphamvu ndi wolimba mtima, anati: “Ngati mwakwiya, musacimwe. Lankhulani mumtima mwanu, muli pabedi panu, ndipo mukhale cete.”—Sal. 4:4.

18. N’cifukwa ciani kupitilizabe kuonetsa cikondi n’kofunika?

¹⁸ Ŵelengani 1 Akorinto 13:4-7. Cikondi n’cofunika kwambili m’banja. Baibulo limati: “Valani cifundo cacikulu, kukoma mtima, kudzicepetsa, kufatsa, ndi kuleza mtima. Koma kuwonjezela pa zonsezi, valani cikondi, pakuti  cimagwilizanitsa anthu mwamphamvu kwambili kuposa cinthu cina ciliconse.” (Akol. 3:12, 14) Cikondi codzimana monga ca Kristu cidzathandiza kwambili kuti banja likhale lolimba. Lidzakhalabe lolimba mosasamala kanthu za kukhumudwitsana, matenda, mavuto a zacuma, kapena kuvutana ndi acibale.

19, 20. (a) N’ciani cimene okwatilana angacite kuti banja lao likhale lolimba ndi lacimwemwe? (b) Tidzakambilana ciani m’nkhani yotsatila?

¹⁹ Ndithudi, cikondi, kukhulupilika, ndi khama n’zofunika kuti banja likhale lopambana. Mavuto akabuka m’banja, okwatilana sayenela kuthetsa cikwati. Koma afunika kuyesetsa kukhala ogwilizana kwambili. Okwatilana amene amakondana ndi kukonda Yehova ayenela kuthetsa mavuto ao, popeza “cikondi sicitha.”—1  Akor. 13:8; Mat. 19:5, 6; Aheb. 13:4.

²⁰ Si copepuka kukhala ndi banja lolimba ndi lacimwemwe makamaka ‘nthawi ino yovuta.’ (2 Tim. 3:1) Koma zingatheke cifukwa ca thandizo la Yehova. Ngakhale n’conco, okwatilana afunika kupewa makhalidwe oipa amene ali paliponse m’dzikoli. M’nkhani yotsatila, tidzakambilana zimene amuna ndi akazi angacite kuti ateteze cikwati cao ku ciwelewele.