Malangizo Othandiza pa Zimene Amuna Komanso Akazi Ambiri Amadandaula

BAIBULO limasonyeza kuti nthawi zina m’banja mumakhala mavuto. Mtumwi Paulo anauziridwa ndi Mulungu kulemba kuti anthu okwatirana adzakumana ndi “zovuta zambiri.” (1 Akorinto 7:28; Chipangano Chatsopano mu Chichewa cha Lero) Koma mwamuna ndi mkazi wake angathe kuchepetsa mavuto m’banja mwawo ndiponso angachite zinthu zimene zingathandize kuti onse azisangalala. Taonani zinthu 6 izi zimene amuna ndi akazi ambiri amadandaula, ndipo onaninso mmene kutsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo kungathandizire.

1

DANDAULO:

“Ine ndi mwamuna (kapena mkazi) wanga sitikuchitiranso zinthu limodzi ndipo sitikukondana ngati kale.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Muzitsimikizira . . . zinthu zofunika kwambiri.”​—AFILIPI 1:10.

Ukwati wanu ndi wofunika kuusamalira chifukwa ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri pa moyo wanu. Ndiye ganizirani ngati zinthu zimene mumachita tsiku ndi tsiku ndi zimene zikuchititsa kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu azidandaula. Musalole kuti zochita za tsiku ndi tsiku zichititse kuti inuyo ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu musamachitire zinthu limodzi. N’zoona kuti ntchito komanso zinthu zina zosapeweka zingachititse kuti kwakanthawi musachitire zinthu limodzi. Koma mungachepetse nthawi imene mumachitira  zinthu zina monga kucheza ndi anzanu, kuchita zinthu zosafunika kwenikweni komanso kuchita zinthu zina zimene mumazikonda.

Anthu ena amagwira dala ntchito yowonjezera kapenanso kutha nthawi yambiri akuchita zinthu zimene amakonda n’cholinga chakuti asamakhale ndi nthawi yocheza ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. Anthu oterewa akuyambitsa mavuto m’malo mowathetsa. Ngati mnzanuyo kapenanso inuyo, mukuchita zimenezo, mufunika kufufuza zimene zikuchititsa n’kuyesetsa kuthetsa vutolo. Mukamachitira zinthu limodzi ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, mungamakondane kwambiri ndipo mungakhaledi “thupi limodzi.”​—Genesis 2:24.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: Andrew * ndi mkazi wake Tanji kwawo ndi ku Australia ndipo akhala pa banja zaka 10. Andrew ananena kuti: “Ndinazindikira kuti kumangokhalira kugwira ntchito komanso kucheza kwambiri ndi anzathu kungawononge banja. Choncho ineyo ndi mkazi wanga timayesetsa kupatula nthawi yocheza ndi kuuzana zakukhosi.”

Dave ndi Jane amakhala ku United States ndipo akhala m’banja zaka 22. Iwo akaweruka madzulo alionse, amapatula mphindi 30 zoyambirira kuti acheze ndi kuuzana zimene aliyense wakumana nazo. Jane ananena kuti: “Nthawi imeneyi imakhala yofunika kwambiri moti sitimalola kuti china chilichonse chitisokoneze.”

2

DANDAULO:

“Palibenso phindu lililonse limene ndikupeza m’banja.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Aliyense asamangodzifunira zopindulitsa iye yekha basi, koma zopindulitsanso wina.”​—1 AKORINTO 10:24.

Munthu amene amangoganizira kwambiri phindu limene iyeyo angapeze m’banja, sangakhale wosangalala ngakhale atakwatira kapena kukwatiwanso kambirimbiri. Banja limayenda bwino ngati mkazi ndi mwamuna akuganizira kwambiri zimene angachitire ena m’banjamo, osati kuganizira zimene angapeze. Yesu ananena chifukwa chake zili choncho. Iye anati: “Kupatsa kumabweretsa chimwemwe chochuluka kuposa kulandira.”​—Machitidwe 20:35.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: Maria ndi Martin amakhala ku Mexico  ndipo akhala pa banja zaka 39. Koma sikuti iwo sakumana ndi mavuto. Iwo amakumbukira kwambiri nthawi ina pamene zinthu zinavuta m’banja mwawo. Maria anati: “Tsiku lina titakangana koopsa, ndinamulankhula Martin mawu achipongwe. Zimenezi zinamukwiyitsa kwambiri. Ndinayesetsa kufotokoza kuti ndinangonena zimenezo chifukwa chokhumudwa. Koma sizinaphule kanthu.” Martin anati: “Pa nthawi imene tinakanganayi, ndinayamba kuganiza kuti ndisavutikenso kuchita zinthu zimene zingathandize kuti ukwati wathu uziyenda bwino chifukwa ndinkaona kuti ukwati wathu sungapitirire.”

Pamenepa, Martin ankafuna kulemekezedwa pamene Maria ankafuna kuti Martin azimumvetsetsa. Koma vuto ndi loti onse awiri sankapeza zimene ankafuna.

Kodi iwo anathana nalo bwanji vuto lawoli? Martin anafotokoza kuti: “Ndinadikira kaye kuti mtima wanga ukhale pansi, kenako tonse tinagwirizana kuti tizigwiritsa ntchito malangizo anzeru a m’Baibulo onena kuti tizilemekezana ndi kukhala okoma mtima. Kwa nthawi yaitali tsopano, taphunzira kuti kaya tikumane ndi mavuto ambiri bwanji, tikhoza kuwathetsa ngati titamapempha kuti Mulungu atithandize komanso ngati titamatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo.​—Yesaya 48:17, 18; Aefeso 4:31, 32.

3

DANDAULO:

“Mwamuna (kapena mkazi) wanga sachita zimene amayenera kuchita.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Aliyense wa ife adzayankha yekha kwa Mulungu.”​—AROMA 14:12.

Ndi zoona kuti banja silingayende bwino ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi yekha ndi amene akuyesetsa. Komatu zinthu zingaipe kwambiri ngati onsewa amangolozana chala ndiponso amangokhala osachita chilichonse chothandiza kuti banja lawo liziyenda bwino.

Ngati mumangoganizira zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ayenera kuchita, simungakhale wosangalala, makamaka ngati inunso simukukwaniritsa udindo wanu chifukwa chakuti mnzanuyo sakukwaniritsa udindo wake. M’malomwake, mutamayesetsa kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino, ukwati wanu ungamayende bwino. (1 Petulo 3:1-3) Ndipo chofunika kwambiri ndi chakuti mukamachita zimenezo mudzasonyeza kuti mumalemekeza dongosolo la ukwati limene Mulungu anayambitsa ndipo khalidwe lanu lidzasangalatsa kwambiri Mulungu.​—1 Petulo 2:19.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: Kim ndi mwamuna wake amakhala ku Korea ndipo akhala m’banja zaka 38. Kim ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina ndimangodabwa kuti mwamuna wanga wandikwiyira ndipo wasiya kundilankhula. Zimenezo zimandipangitsa kuganiza kuti mwina sakundikondanso. Nthawi zina ndimadzifunsa kuti, ‘N’chifukwa chiyani akufuna kuti ineyo ndimumvetse pamene iyeyo sakundimvetsa?’”

Kim akanatha kumangoganizira zinthu zopanda chilungamo zimene mwamuna wake amamuchitira komanso zimene amalephera kuchita. M’malomwake amasankha kuchita zosiyana ndi zimenezo. Kim ananena kuti: “M’malo mongokhalabe wokwiya, ndimaona kuti ndi bwino kuyamba ineyo kuchita zinthu zimene zingabweretse mtendere. Zotsatira zake ndi zakuti timatha kukhazika mitima m’malo ndipo timakambirana mwamtendere.”​—Yakobo 3:18.

 4

DANDAULO:

“Mkazi wanga samandimvera.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Mutu wa mwamuna aliyense ndi Khristu.”​—1 AKORINTO 11:3.

Mwamuna amene amaona kuti mkazi wake samumvera, angachite bwino kuganizira kaye ngati iyeyo amamvera Yesu Khristu, yemwe ndi Mutu wake. Mwamuna angasonyeze kuti amamvera Yesu potsatira chitsanzo cha Yesuyo.

Mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Amuna inu, pitirizani kukonda akazi anu monga mmene Khristu anakondera mpingo n’kudzipereka yekha chifukwa cha mpingowo.” (Aefeso 5:25) Yesu ‘sankapondereza’ ophunzira ake. (Maliko 10:42-44) Iye ankapatsa otsatira ake malangizo omveka bwino ndipo ankawathandiza akakhala ndi maganizo olakwika. Koma iye sankachita zinthu mwankhanza. Anali wokoma mtima ndipo ankamvetsa zimene iwo sangathe kuchita. (Mateyu 11:29, 30; Maliko 6:30, 31; 14:37, 38) Nthawi zonse iye ankaika zofuna za otsatira ake patsogolo pa zofuna zake.​—Mateyu 20:25-28.

Mwamuna angachite bwino kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi miyambo ya chikhalidwe chathu ndi imene imandichititsa kuti ndiziona akazi komanso nkhani yogonjera mwanjira imeneyi? Kapena kodi ndimatsatira malangizo ndiponso zitsanzo za m’Baibulo?’ Mwachitsanzo kodi mungaganize chiyani za mkazi amene sakugwirizana ndi maganizo a mwamuna wake ndipo molimba mtima koma mwaulemu akufotokoza maganizo ake? Baibulo limanena kuti Sara, mkazi wa Abulahamu, ndi chitsanzo chabwino cha mkazi wogonjera. (1 Petulo 3:1, 6) Komabe nthawi ina iye anafotokoza maganizo ake pamene Abulahamu analephera kuona mavuto ena amene banja lawo likanakumana nawo.​—Genesis 16:5; 21:9-12.

N’zoonekeratu kuti Abulahamu sankamuopseza Sara kuti azichita mantha kulankhula. Iye sanali munthu wopondereza. Mofanana ndi zimenezi mwamuna amene amatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo sakakamiza mkazi wake kuti azimumvera pa chilichonse chimene iyeyo akufuna. Mkazi wake amamulemekeza chifukwa amachita zinthu monga mutu wa banja wachifundo.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: James amakhala ku England ndipo wakhala pa banja zaka 8. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndimayesetsa kupewa kuchita zinthu ndisanafunse mkazi wanga. Ndimayesetsanso kuti ndisamangoganiza za ine ndekha koma ndizichita zofuna za mkazi wanga kaye ndisanachite zofuna zanga.”

George amakhala ku United States ndipo wakhala m’banja zaka 59. Iye ananena kuti: “Ndimayesetsa kuti ndisamaone mkazi wanga ngati munthu wosafunika. M’malomwake ndimamuona kuti ndi wanzeru ndipo amakwanitsa udindo wake.”​—Miyambo 31:10.

 5

DANDAULO:

“Mwamuna wanga sachita zinthu ngati mwamuna.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Mkazi amene alidi wanzeru amamanga nyumba yake, koma wopusa amaigwetsa ndi manja ake.”​—MIYAMBO 14:1.

Ngati mwamuna wanu amachita mphwayi pofuna kusankha zochita kapena kusamalira banja, pali zinthu zitatu zimene mungachite. (1) Nthawi zonse mungamangotchula zimene amalakwitsa, kapena (2) mungamulande udindo wake monga mutu wa banja, kapenanso (3) mungamamuyamikire mochokera pansi pa mtima pa zinthu zimene amayesetsa kuchita bwino. Ngati mungasankhe kuchita mfundo yoyamba kapena yachiwiriyo, mungapasule banja lanu ndi manja anu. Koma ngati mungasankhe mfundo yachitatuyi, mungamange ndiponso kulimbitsa banja lanu.

Amuna ambiri amafuna kulemekezedwa mwinanso kuposa mmene amafunira kukondedwa. Choncho ngati mumalemekeza mwamuna wanu n’kumachita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mumayamikira zimene iye akuyesetsa kuchita posamalira banjalo, iye angasinthe n’kuyamba kuchita zinthu zothandiza banja lake. Komabe sikuti mungamagwirizane pa chilichonse. Ngati simunagwirizane pa nkhani inayake, inu ndi mwamuna wanu muzikambirana. (Miyambo 18:13) Koma dziwani kuti mawu amene mungagwiritse ntchito komanso mmene mungalankhulire, angachititse kuti mupasule kapena kumanga banja lanu. (Miyambo 21:9; 27:15) Choncho muzinena maganizo anu mwaulemu ndipo zimenezi zingachititse kuti mwamuna wanu azichita zimene mumamuyembekezera kuchita zomwe ndi kukhala mutu wabwino.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: Michele amakhala ku United States ndipo wakhala m’banja zaka 30. Iye ananena kuti: “Mayi anga anatilera popanda bambo. Chifukwa cha zimenezi iwo ankanena maganizo awo mosapita m’mbali komanso ankachita zinthu popanda kudalira munthu wina. Ndimaona kuti nanenso nthawi zina ndimasonyeza makhalidwe amenewa. Choncho nthawi zonse ndimayesetsa kuti ndizimvera mwamuna wanga. Mwachitsanzo, panopa ndimayamba ndamupempha kaye m’malo mongochita zimene ndikuganiza.”

Rachel ndi mwamuna wake Mark amakhala ku Australia ndipo iwo akhala m’banja zaka 21. Rachel nayenso poyamba anali ndi makhalidwe angati a mayi ake. Iye ananena kuti: “Mayi anga sankagonjera bambo ngakhale pang’ono. Chifukwa cha zimenezi sankati akangana liti. Titangokwatirana kumene ndinkachita zimene mayi anga ankachita. Koma patapita zaka zingapo ndinazindikira kuti ndifunika kumatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo onena za kupatsana ulemu. Panopa ine ndi Mark tili ndi banja losangalala.”

6

DANDAULO:

“Zimene mwamuna (kapena mkazi) wanga amachita zimandikwiyitsa ndipo zanditopetsa.”

MFUNDO YA M’BAIBULO IMENE MUNGATSATIRE:

“Pitirizani kulolerana ndi kukhululukirana ndi mtima wonse, ngati wina ali ndi chifukwa chodandaulira za mnzake.”​—AKOLOSE 3:13.

Nthawi imene munali pachibwenzi muyenera kuti munkasangalala ndi makhalidwe abwino a mnzanuyo moti mwina simunkaona zimene iye  ankalakwitsa. Mungathenso kuchita zimenezo panopo. Ndi zoona kuti pali zinthu zina zomveka zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amachita zimene zingachititse kuti muzidandaula. Koma dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ndisankhe kumaganizira kwambiri za chiyani, makhalidwe ake abwino kapena oipa?’

Yesu ananena fanizo lomveka bwino kwambiri pofuna kusonyeza kufunika konyalanyaza zolakwa za ena. Iye ananena kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani umayang’ana kachitsotso m’diso la m’bale wako, koma osaganizira mtanda wa denga la nyumba umene uli m’diso lako?” (Mateyu 7:3) Kachitsotso kangakhale kachidutswa kakang’ono kwambiri ka udzu. Koma mtanda ndi mtengo waukulu umene amaugwiritsa ntchito kumangira denga la nyumba. Kodi pamenepa Yesu ankatanthauza chiyani? Iye anafotokoza kuti: “Yamba wachotsa mtanda wa denga la nyumba uli m’diso lakowo, ndipo ukatero udzatha kuona bwino mmene ungachotsere kachitsotso m’diso la m’bale wako.”​—Mateyu 7:5.

Yesu asanene fanizo limeneli anachenjeza kuti: “Lekani kuweruza ena kuti inunso musaweruzidwe, pakuti chiweruzo chimene mukuweruza nacho ena inunso mudzaweruzidwa nacho.” (Mateyu 7:1, 2) Ngati mukufuna kuti Mulungu azikhululukira zolakwa zanu zomwe zili ngati mtanda m’diso lanu, inunso muyenera kumakhululukira mnzanuyo zolakwa zake.​—Mateyu 6:14, 15.

Mmene ena agwiritsira ntchito malangizo amenewa: Jenny amakhala ku England ndipo iye wakhala m’banja ndi Simon zaka 9. Jenny ananena kuti: “Mwamuna wanga amakonda kuchita zinthu mosakonzekera. Nthawi zonse amangodzidzimukira pochita zinthu ndipo zimenezi zimandikwiyitsa. Koma n’zodabwitsa kuti zimenezi zimandikwiyitsa chifukwa tili pachibwenzi, ndinkasangalala kwambiri kuti amatha kuchita zinthu ngakhale sanakonzekere. Komabe, ndadziwa kuti nanenso ndili ndi vuto. Mwachitsanzo, sindimamupatsa mpata wochita zimene akufuna. Choncho ineyo ndi Simon tikuyesetsa kunyalanyaza zinthu zing’onozing’ono zimene timalakwirana.”

Curt yemwe ndi mwamuna wa Michele amene tamutchula poyamba uja, ananena kuti: “Ngati nthawi zonse umangoganizira zolakwa za mnzako, zolakwazo zimayamba kuoneka ngati zazikulu kwambiri. Ndimaona kuti zimakhala bwino ndikamaganizira kwambiri makhalidwe abwino a Michele amene anandichititsa kuti ndiyambe kumukonda.”

Chinsinsi cha Banja Losangalala

Zitsanzo zochepa zimenezi zikusonyeza kuti m’banja simungalephere mavuto, komabe njira zowathetsera zilipo. Kodi chinsinsi cha banja losangalala n’chiyani? Muzikonda Yehova ndipo muzikhala wofunitsitsa kutsatira malangizo amene ali m’Mawu ake, Baibulo.

Alex ndi mkazi wake Itohan amakhala ku Nigeria ndipo akhala m’banja zaka 20. Iwo anazindikira chinsinsi chimenechi. Alex anati: “Ndaona kuti pafupifupi vuto lililonse la m’banja likhoza kuthetsedwa ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amatsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo.” Mkazi wake ananena kuti: “Tazindikira kuti kupemphera limodzi nthawi zonse ndiponso kutsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo onena kuti tizikondana kuchokera pansi pa mtima komanso tizichitirana zinthu moleza mtima, ndi zofunika kwambiri. Panopa tili ndi mavuto ochepa kuposa amene tinali nawo titangokwatirana kumene.”

Kodi mukufuna kudziwa zambiri zokhudza mmene malangizo a m’Mawu a Mulungu angathandizire banja lanu? Ngati ndi choncho, funsani a Mboni za Yehova kuti muphunzire nawo mutu 14 m’buku lakuti, Kodi Baibulo Limaphunzitsa Chiyani Kwenikweni? *

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Chithunzi patsamba 4]

Kodi timayesetsa kupeza nthawi yochitira zinthu limodzi?

[Chithunzi patsamba 5]

Kodi ndimayesetsa kuchitira ena zinthu zambiri kuposa zimene iwowo amandichitira?

[Chithunzi patsamba 6]

Pakakhala vuto linalake, kodi ndimayamba ndine kuchita zinthu zimene zingathandize kuthetsa vutolo?

[Chithunzi patsamba 7]

Kodi ndimaganizira kaye zimene mkazi wanga wanena ndisanasankhe zochita?

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Kodi ndimaganizira kwambiri makhalidwe abwino amene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga ali nawo?