Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Ndi Anthu Ati Amene Ndingamacheze Nawo Momasuka?

“Ineyo ndili ndi zaka 21. Ndipo kuno kulibe anthu ambiri amsinkhu wanga amene ndingamacheze nawo. Choncho, ndimacheza ndi ana a kusekondale kapena anthu apabanja. Ndikamacheza ndi ana a sukuluwo, amangokhalira kunena za mayeso, pamene anthu apabanjawo amangokhalira kunena zolipirira lendi ndi kusamalira banja lawo. Nkhani zonsezi ndimakhala ndilibe nazo ntchito. Ndimalakalaka nditapeza anzanga amene ndingamamvane nawo.”—Anatero Carmen. *

PAFUPIFUPI aliyense, kaya akhale wamkulu kapena wamng’ono, amafuna kuti azikondedwa. Sitikukayikira kuti inunso mumafuna kuti muzikondedwa. N’chifukwa chake zimapweteka kwambiri ngati anthu ena akungokunyalanyazani. Mtsikana wina wazaka 15, dzina lake Michaela, ananena kuti zimakhala zopweteka ngati anthu amakuona ngati “kachinyalala.”

Ngati ndinu Mkhristu, palibe chifukwa chokhalira wosungulumwa chifukwa pali “gulu lonse la abale,” limene mungamacheze nalo. (1 Petulo 2:17) Komabe nthawi zina zingatheke kulephera kucheza nawo momasuka. Mtsikana wina wazaka 20, dzina lake Helena, anati: “Nthawi zina tikamapita kunyumba kuchokera kumpingo, ndinkakhala m’galimoto kumbuyo n’kumalira. Ndinkaona kuti ndikamayesetsa kwambiri kucheza ndi anthu enawo m’pamenenso ndinkakhumudwa kwambiri.”

Kodi mungatani ngati mumaona kuti anthu amene mumacheza nawo simumasuka nawo? Kuti tiyankhe funso limeneli, tiyenera kudziwa kaye: (1)  anthu amene simumasuka nawo komanso (2) zimene inuyo mumachita mukamacheza nawo.

Chongani chonchi ✔ anthu amene simumasuka nawo.

1. Zaka zawo

□ amsinkhu wanu □ achinyamata okulirapo □ anthu achikulire

2. Zochita

Anthu amene ndi

□ akatswiri amasewera □ a luso linalake □ ophunzira kwambiri

3. Umunthu wawo

Anthu amene

□ sadzikayikira ❑ ndi otchuka ❑ amangocheza ndi anthu a m’gulu lawo

Tsopano chongani chonchi ✔ pafupi ndi mawu amene akufotokoza bwino zimene mumachita mukakhala ndi anthu amene tawatchula pamwambawa.

□  Ndimanamizira kuti zokonda ndi zochita zanga n’zofanana ndi zawo.

□ Ndimangonyalanyaza zimene akunena n’kuyamba kuwauza zinthu zimene ineyo zimandisangalatsa.

□ Ndimangokhala phee, osalankhula, ndipo mpata ukapezeka, ndimachoka nthawi yomweyo.

Tsopano popeza kuti mwazindikira anthu amene mumaona kuti zimakuvutani kumasuka nawo komanso zimene mwakhala mukuchita, mwina ndi bwino tikambirane zimene muyenera kuchita kuti muthetse vutolo. Koma choyamba tiyeni tikambirane zinthu zingapo zofunika kuzipewa zimene zingakulepheretseni kucheza ndi ena.

CHINTHU CHOYAMBA: Kudzipatula

Vuto lake. Mukakhala ndi anthu amene zokonda ndiponso zochita zawo n’zosiyana kwambiri ndi zanu, nthawi zina mungamaone kuti inuyo muli ndi vuto, makamaka ngati ndinu wamanyazi. Mtsikana wina wazaka 18, dzina lake Anita, anati: “Zimandivuta kwambiri kuyambitsa nkhani pagulu. Ndimaopa kuti ndinganene zinthu zolakwika.”

Zimene Baibulo limanena. “Wodzipatula amafunafuna zolakalaka zake zosonyeza kudzikonda. Iye amachita zosemphana ndi nzeru zonse zopindulitsa.” (Miyambo 18:1) Apa n’zoonekeratu kuti kudzipatula kungangochititsa kuti vutolo likule. Chimene chimachitika n’chakuti munthu akadzipatula amasungulumwa, ndipo kusungulumwako kumamuchititsa kuganiza kuti anthu ena samasuka naye, ndipo zimenezi zimamuchititsa kuwapewa. Zimenezi zikhoza kumangochitikabe pokhapokha ngati mutachitapo kanthu.

“Anthu sangalote zimene mukuganiza. Simungapeze zimene mukufuna ngati simunena maganizo anu. Mukamadzipatula, simungapeze anzanu. Muyenera kuyesetsa kucheza ndi anthu. Si bwino kuganiza kuti munthu winayo ndi amene akuyenera kuyamba kucheza nanu. Kuti anthu awiri azigwirizana, pamafunika kuti aliyense azichitako mbali yake.”—Anatero Melinda, wazaka 19.

CHINTHU CHACHIWIRI: Kulolera Kuchita Chilichonse Kuti Mupeze Anzanu

Vuto lake. Anthu ena amafunitsitsa kwambiri kupeza anzawo moti amalolera kuyamba kucheza ndi anthu amakhalidwe oipa n’cholinga choti angokhala ndi anzawo. Mtsikana wina wazaka 15 dzina lake René, anati: “Ndinkadandaula chifukwa gulu linalake la ana a sukulu odziwika silinkafuna kucheza nane. Choncho ndinkaganiza zoyamba kuchita zinthu zoipa n’cholinga choti iwowo azindikonda.”

Zimene Baibulo limanena. “Wochita zinthu ndi anthu opusa adzapeza mavuto,” kapena ngati mmene Baibulo lina limanenera, “ukamayenda ndi anthu opusa umangodzipweteka wekha.”  (Miyambo 13:20) Musaganize kuti anthu “opusa” amene atchulidwa m’vesi limeneli akutanthauza anthu opanda nzeru. Ena a iwo akhoza kukhala ana a sukulu anzeru kwambiri. Koma ngati amanyalanyaza mfundo za m’Baibulo, Mulungu amawaona kuti ndi opusa. Ndipo mukamawatsanzira n’kumasinthasintha khalidwe lanu ngati namzikambe, mukhoza kungodzipweteka nokha.—1 Akorinto 15:33.

“Si aliyense amene ali munthu wabwino kucheza naye. Simungakonde kucheza ndi anthu amene amafuna kuti muzisintha mukakhala nawo. Ndi bwino kupeza anzanu amene angamakukondeni komanso amene angakuthandizeni zinthu zitakuvutani.”—Anatero Paula, wazaka 21.

Yambani Ndinu

Musachite kudikira kuti anthu akupempheni kuti mukhale mnzawo. Mnyamata wina wazaka 21, dzina lake Gene, anati: “Si bwino kumangodikira kuti anthu ena ayambe kucheza nafe. Ifeyo ndi amene tiyenera kuyamba kucheza nawo.” Zinthu ziwiri zotsatirazi zingakuthandizeni kuchita zimenezi.

Musamangoganiza zocheza ndi anthu a msinkhu wanu okhaokha. Zikuoneka kuti Yonatani ndi Davide ankasiyana ndi zaka pafupifupi 30 koma Baibulo limanena kuti ‘ankagwirizana kwambiri.’ * (1 Samueli 18:1) Kodi zimenezi zikutiphunzitsa chiyani? Tikuphunzira kuti n’zotheka kukhala ndi anzathu achikulire. Taganizirani izi: Kodi n’zomveka kumadandaula kuti mukusowa anthu ocheza nawo pamene mumangofuna kucheza ndi anthu a msinkhu wanu basi? Kuchita zimenezi kuli ngati kumafa ndi njala chakudya chilipo. Zoona zake n’zakuti simungalephere kupeza anthu abwino amene mungamagwirizane nawo. Ndipo kuti mupeze anthu amenewa, muyenera kupewa kusankha anthu okhawo amene ali ndi zaka zofanana ndi zanu.

“Mayi anga ankandilimbikitsa kuti ndizicheza ndi anthu akuluakulu mumpingo mwathu. Iwo ankandiuza kuti ndidzadabwa kuona kuti ndikugwirizana nawo pa zinthu zambiri. Mayi ankanenadi zoona chifukwa malangizo awo andithandiza kuti ndikhale ndi anzanga ambiri.”—Anatero Helena, wazaka 20.

Phunzirani kucheza ndi anthu. Kucheza ndi anthu n’kovuta, makamaka ngati ndinu wamanyazi. Koma n’zotheka kuphunzira. Chinsinsi chake ndi (1) kumvetsera, (2) kufunsa mafunso ndi (3) kusonyeza chidwi pa zimene akunena.

“Ndimayesetsa kumvetsera anthu ena akamalankhula m’malo moti ineyo ndizingolankhula. Ndipo ikafika nthawi yoti ndilankhule, ndimayesetsa kuti ndisamangonena za ineyo kapena zinthu zimene munthu winayo sangasangalale nazo.”—Anatero Serena, wazaka 18.

“Munthu wina akayamba kunena zinthu zimene sindikuzidziwa bwino, ndimamupempha kuti andifotokozere momveka, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimenezi zimachititsa kuti andiuze zambiri.”—Anatero Jared, wazaka 21.

Mwina inuyo mwachibadwa simukonda kulankhula, koma limeneli si vuto lalikulu. Simuyenera kuganiza kuti muyenera kusintha n’kumangocheza ndi aliyense. Komabe, ngati mukuona kuti mukulephera kumasukirana ndi anthu enaake, yesani kutsatira malangizo amene ali m’nkhani ino. Kutsatira malangizowa kungakuthandizeni n’kufika ponena mawu ofanana ndi amene Leah ananena. Iye anati: “Ndine munthu wamanyazi, moti kuti ndicheze ndi anthu ena ndimafunika kuchita khama. Koma ndimaona kuti kukhala munthu wochezeka kumathandiza munthu kuti azigwirizana ndi anthu. Choncho, panopa ndimayesetsa kulankhula ndi ena.”

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[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi/Zithunzi patsamba 19]

ZIMENE ACHINYAMATA ANZANU AMANENA

“Ndikapita kumpingo, ndimayesetsa kuti ndilankhule ndi munthu mmodzi kapena angapo. Ndaona kuti nthawi zina anthu amatha kuyamba kumacheza chifukwa chongopatsana moni.”

“Poyamba ndinkakonda kunena kuti, ‘Wakuti ndi wakuti safuna kucheza nane, choncho palibe chifukwa choti ndizilimbana nawo.’ Zinali zovuta kuchotsa maganizo amenewa. Komabe pamapeto pake ndinawathetsa. M’malo modikira kuti ena azicheza nane, ndimayamba ndi ineyo kucheza nawo. Zimenezi zathandiza kwambiri kuti anthu azindikonda.”

“Poyamba zinkandivuta kwambiri kucheza ndi anthu achikulire, koma pang’ono ndi pang’ono ndinachotsa mantha amenewa. Zimenezi zinandithandiza kwambiri chifukwa ndakhala ndi anzanga odalirika kungoyambira ndili wamng’ono.”

[Zithunzi]

Lauren

Reyon

Carissa

[Bokosi patsamba 20]

FUNSANI MAKOLO ANU

Kodi nanunso zinkakuvutani kucheza momasuka ndi anthu muli wamng’ono? Kodi ndi anthu ati amene zinkakuvutani kwambiri kucheza nawo? Kodi munatani kuti muthetse vuto limeneli?

․․․․․

[Chithunzi patsamba 20]

ZIMENE ZIMACHITITSA KUTI VUTO LANGA LA KUSUNGULUMWA LISATHE

KUDZIPATULA,

komwe kumandichititsa

kudziona

kuti . . . ↓

. . . ndine

WACHABECHABE,

ndipo zimenezi

zimandichititsa

↑ kuti . . .

. . . NDISAMACHEZE ←

NDI ANTHU,

zimene

zimandichititsa . . .