Zimene Achinyamata Amadzifunsa

Kodi Cholakwika N’chiyani ndi Kuchita Chibwenzi Mobisa?

Jessica * anaima mutu. Vuto lake linayamba pamene Jeremy, mnyamata wa m’kalasi mwake, anayamba kusonyeza kuti akum’funa. Jessica anati: “Anali mnyamata wooneka bwino kwambiri, ndipo anzanga ankandiuza kuti sindidzapezanso mnyamata wakhalidwe labwino ngati ameneyu. Pali atsikana angapo amene ankamusirira koma mnyamatayu sankawafuna. Ankangofuna ineyo basi.”

Posakhalitsa Jeremy anam’funsira Jessica. Jessica anati: “Ndinamuuza kuti ndine wa Mboni za Yehova motero sindingaloledwe kukhala pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata yemwe si wa Mboni. Pamenepa Jeremy anaganizira nzeru ina. Iye anati, ‘Tingathe kumangoyendetsa chibwenzi chathucho popanda makolo ako kudziwa.’”

KODI inuyo mungatani ngati mnyamata kapena mtsikana amene amakudololani atakuuzani nzeru imeneyi? Mwina mudabwa kumva kuti poyamba, Jessica uja anamvera nzeru ya Jeremy ija. Iye anati: “Sindinkakayika ngakhale pang’ono kuti ngati nditakhala naye pachibwenzi ndingathe kumuphunzitsa kuti ayambe kukonda Yehova.” Koma kodi zinaterodi? Tiona zimenezi patsogolo. Choyamba tione kaye mmene Mkhristu wachinyamata wolimba ngati Jessica angagwere mumsampha wochita chibwenzi mobisa.

Kodi Amachitiranji Zibwenzi Mobisa?

Achinyamata ena amayamba zibwenzi adakali aang’ono. Susan, wa ku Britain, anati: “Ndaonapo ana a zaka 10 kapena 11 ali ndi zibwenzi.” N’chifukwa chiyani amapupuluma choncho? Nthawi zambiri n’chifukwa chongotengeka ndi atsikana kapena anyamata komanso chifukwa chotengera zochita za anzawo. Lois, wa ku Australia, anati: “M’thupimu  umamva kuti ukusoweka kenakake komanso umaona kuti anzako onse kusukulu ali ndi zibwenzi.”

Komano n’chifukwa chiyani ena amachita zibwenzi mobisa? Jeffrey, wa ku Britain, anati: “Mwina n’chifukwa choti amaopa kuti makolo awo awakalipira.” David, wa ku South Africa, amaonanso chimodzimodzi. Iye anati: “Iwowa amadziwa kuti makolo awo sangasangalale nazo, n’chifukwa chake amawabisira.” Mtsikana wina wa ku Australia, dzina lake Jane, anatchulaponso chifukwa china. Iye anati: “Ena amachita zibwenzi mobisa chifukwa chofuna kuonetsa kuti sakufunanso kuti azichita kuuzidwa zochita. Ukamaona kuti sukupatsidwa ufulu wochita zinthu ngati munthu wotha kuganiza pawekha, umaona kuti ndibwino kungochita zimene ukufuna popanda kuuza makolo ako. Ndiye sizivuta kungochita zinthuzo mobisa.”

Komatu Baibulo limati muyenera kumvera makolo anu. (Aefeso 6:1) Ndipotu ngati makolo anu safuna kuti muzichita zibwenzi, ndiye kuti ali ndi zifukwa zomveka. Mwachitsanzo, ngati makolo anu ali a Mboni za Yehova, ndiye kuti sangafune kuti mukhale pa chibwenzi ndi munthu amene si wa Mboni. Komanso sangafune kuti mukhale ndi chibwenzi ngati simunafike msinkhu woganiza zomanga banja. * Komabe musadzinyumwe ngati mutakhala ndi mavuto otsatirawa:

▪ Ndimaona kuti ndikutsalira kwambiri chifukwa choti aliyense ali ndi chibwenzi kupatulapo ineyo.

▪ Mnyamata kapena mtsikana amene ndimam’funa si wachipembedzo changa.

▪ Ndimafuna n’takhala pachibwenzi ndi Mkhristu mnzanga ngakhale kuti sindinafike pamsinkhu wolowa m’banja.

N’kutheka kuti mukudziwa kale zimene makolo anganene pa maganizo amenewa. Ndipo pansi pamtima mukuvomereza kuti makolo anuwo akunena zoona. Komabe, mwina mumamva ngati mmene amamvera Manami, wa ku Japan, yemwe anati: “Ndimafuna kwambiri kukhala ndi chibwenzi moti nthawi zina ndimakayikira ngati ndikutsatiradi mfundo zothandiza. Achinyamata ambiri masiku ano, amaona kuti kukhala opanda chibwenzi n’kutsalira kwenikweni.” Motero ena amakhala ndi chibwenzi chobisa, moti makolo awo sadziwa. Kodi amachita zimenezi motani?

“Anatiuza Kuti Tisaulule”

Mawu akuti “chibwenzi chobisa,” pawokha amasonyeza kuti pali zinazake zachinyengo. Ena amayendetsa zibwenzi zotere polankhulana pa foni kapena pa Intaneti basi. Akakhala pagulu amangooneka ngati kuti amangogwirizana, koma mungadabwe kwambiri mutawerenga zimene amauzana pa intaneti ndiponso pa foni.

Caleb, wa ku Nigeria, anatchulaponso njira ina yoyendetsera chibwenzi mobisa. Iye anati: “Kuti ayendetse zibwenzi zawo mobisa, achinyamata ena akakhala pakati pa anzawo, amalankhula mwachining’a ndiponso amatchula zibwenzi zawozo mayina ena, kuti anzawowo asatolepo kanthu.” Nthawi zinanso iwowa amaitana gulu la anzawo kuti akachite zinazake pamodzi, koma kenaka amene ali pachibwenziwo amangocheza awiriwiri basi. James, wa ku Britain, anati: “Nthawi ina, tinaitanidwa kuti tikakumane penapake monga gulu, osadziwa kuti imeneyi inali njira yoti mnyamata ndi mtsikana winawake akacheze awiriwiri. Koma anatiuza kuti tisaulule.”

Monga mmene James akunenera, nthawi zambiri anthu amathandizidwa ndi anzawo poyendetsa zibwenzi mobisa. Carol, wa ku Scotland, anati: “Mwina pamakhala mnzako mmodzi kapena awiri amene amadziwa za chibwenzicho koma sanena chilichonse chifukwa safuna kutchedwa kuti n’ngapakamwa.”

Nthawi zambiri ena amachita kunena bodza lamkunkhuniza. Beth, wa ku Canada, anati: “Ambiri amabisa zoti akuchita zibwenzi ponamiza makolo awo za kumene akupita.” Misaki, wa ku Japan, anavomereza kuti anachitapo zimenezi. Iye anati: “Ndinkangopeka tinkhani tabodza basi. Komano pofuna kuti makolo anga asamandikayikire, ndinkayesetsa kuti ndisamaname pa china chilichonse kupatulapo za chibwenzi changacho.”

Kuopsa Kochita Zibwenzi Mobisa

Ngati mukulakalaka kukhala ndi chibwenzi chobisa kapena ngati muli nacho kale, m’pofunika kuti muganizire mafunso otsatirawa.

▪ Kodi khalidwe lachinyengoli likandifikitsa kuti? Kodi muli ndi cholinga chomanga banja ndi munthuyo posachedwapa? Evan, wa ku United States, anati: “Kukhala pachibwenzi popanda cholinga chomanga banja n’chimodzimodzi ndi kutsatsa chinachake chimene sukufuna kuchigulitsa.” Lemba la Miyambo 13:12 limati: “Chiyembekezo  chozengereza chidwalitsa mtima.” Kodi mungafune kuti munthu amene mumam’kondadi adwale mtima?

▪ Kodi Yehova Mulungu akumva bwanji pa zimene ndikuchitazi? Baibulo limati ‘Zinthu zonse zili pambalambanda ndi zoonekera poyera pamaso pa uyo amene tidzayenera kuyankha kwa iye.’ (Aheberi 4:13) Motero musadzinamize kuti mukubisa chibwenzi chanu kapena cha mnzanu, chifukwatu Yehova akuchidziwa. Ndipotu ngati mukuchitira dala zachinyengo, dziwani kuti mukuseweradi paulimbo. Chifukwatu , Yehova Mulungu amadana kwambiri ndi bodza. Moti “lilime lonama” lili m’gulu la zinthu zimene Baibulo linachita kuneneratu kuti Yehova amadana nazo.—Miyambo 6:16-19.

Komansotu mukamachita chibwenzi mobisa simungakhale otetezeka monga mmene zimakhalira munthu akamachita chibwenzi chodziwika. Motero n’zosadabwitsa kuti achinyamata ena amene amachita zibwenzi mobisa amapezeka kuti achita zachiwerewere. Jane, wa ku Australia, ananena kuti mnzake wina anali pachibwenzi chobisa ndi mnyamata winawake kusukulu kwawo ndipo ankakhala moyo wachiphamaso. Iye anatinso, “Mmene bambo ake ankatulukira zimenezi n’kuti iye ali kale ndi mimba.”

Ndithu, n’chinthu chanzeru kuuza makolo anu kapena Mkhristu wamkulu wokhwima mwauzimu za chibwenzi chilichonse chimene mukuyendetsa mobisa. Ndipo ngati muli ndi mnzanu amene akuchita chibwenzi mobisa, musam’thandize chinyengo chakecho pomusungira chinsinsi. (1 Timoteyo 5:22) Komanso, kodi mungamve bwanji ngati mnzanuyo atagwa m’vuto chifukwa cha chibwenzicho? Kodi simungadziimbe mlandu chifukwa cha mbali yanu pomuthandiza kubisa chibwenzicho? Tiyerekeze motere: Mnzanu amene amadwala nthenda ya shuga akudya masiwiti mobisa. Ndiyeno inu mwadziwa zimenezi komano mnzanuyo akukupemphani kuti musawulule kwa aliyense. Kodi mungatani? Kodi mungade nkhawa kwambiri ndi zopulumutsa moyo wa mnzanuyo kapena zomusungira chinsinsi?

N’chimodzimodzinso ngati mukudziwa winawake amene akuchita chibwenzi mobisa. Muululeni, popanda kuopa kuti mudana naye. Ngati ali mnzanu weniwenidi, patsogolo pake adzazindikira kuti munatero chifukwa chomufunira zabwino.—Miyambo 27:6.

“Ndinadziwa Zoyenera Kuchita”

Jessica, amene tam’tchula poyamba uja, anaganiza zoti athetse chibwenzi chobisacho atamva zimene zinam’chitikira mtsikana wina amene anachitapo zimenezi. Jessica anati: “Nditamva zimene  zinachitika kuti iyeyo athetse chibwenzicho ndinadziwa zoyenera kuchita.” Ndiye kodi Jessica anangothetsa chibwenzicho mosavuta? Ayi, zinali zovuta. Jessica anati: “Uyutu anali mnyamata yekhayo amene ndinam’kondadi. Ndinkalira tsiku lililonse kwa milungu ingapo.”

Komatu Jessica ankadziwa mfundo yofunika kwambiri iyi: Iye ankakonda Yehova motero ngakhale kuti anasokonezeka pang’ono, ankafunitsitsa kuchita zoyenerera. Ndipo patapita nthawi, iye anasiya kuganiza za chibwenzicho. Jessica anati: “Tsopano ubwenzi wanga ndi Yehova n’ngolimba kwambiri. Ndikuyamikira kwambiri kuti iye amatipatsa malangizo ofunika panthawi yake.”

Nkhani zina zakuti “Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa,“ mungazipeze pa adiresi yathu ya pa Intaneti ya www.jw.org.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

ZOTI MUGANIZIRE

▪ Ganizirani mavuto atatu amene alembedwa m’mawu akuda kwambiri patsamba 27. Kodi pamavuto atatuwo ndi ati amene akugwirizana ndi zinthu zimene nthawi zina zimakuvutitsani maganizo?

▪ Kodi mungathane bwanji ndi vuto lanulo popanda kuchita chibwenzi mobisa?

[Bokosi patsamba 28]

Mobisa Kapena Mosaonetsera?

Sikuti nthawi zonse anthu akakhala pachibwenzi chimene anthu ena sakuchidziwa ndiye kuti akuchita zolakwika. Tayekezerani kuti mnyamata ndi mtsikana amene afika pa msinkhu wolowa m’banja akufuna kudziwana bwino komano akufuna kuti asaonetsere zimenezi kwa kanthawi ndithu. N’kutheka kuti akutero pa chifukwa chofanana ndi chimene mnyamata wina dzina lake Thomas, ananena. Iye anati: “Safuna kuti anthu aziwavutitsa ndi mafunso monga akuti: ‘Kodi ukwati udzakhalako liti?’”

N’zoona kuti zonena za anthu ena zingathe kukulowetsani m’mavuto. (Nyimbo ya Solomo 2:7) Motero, anyamata ndi atsikana ena amaona kuti ndibwino kusaonetsera kuti ali pachibwenzi mpaka patapita nthawi, komano amapewa kukhala pamalo amene alipo awiriwiri basi. (Miyambo 10:19) Anna, yemwe ali ndi zaka 20, anati: “Kusaonetsera kumathandiza anthuwo kuti akhale ndi nthawi yokwanira yoona bwinobwino ngati onse atsimikizadi kumanga banja. Ndiyeno akatsimikizira zimenezi, m’pamene amayamba kuonetsera kwa anthu onse.”

Koma zimenezi zili apo, dziwani kuti n’kulakwa kuwabisira anthu amene ayenera kudziwa za chibwenzicho, monga makolo anu komanso makolo a mnzanuyo. Ngati mukuona kuti simungauze munthu wina aliyense, dzifunseni kuti n’chifukwa chiyani mukutero. Kodi n’kutheka kuti mukuchita zangati zimene anachita Jessica uja? Kodi mukudziwa pansi pamtima kuti makolo anu ali ndi zifukwa zomveka zokuletsani kutero?

[Bokosi patsamba 29]

MAWU KWA MAKOLO

Mutawerenga nkhani yapitayi, mwina mukudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi mwana wanga angakhale ndi chibwenzi chomwe ine sindikuchidziwa?’ Taonani zimene achinyamata angapo anauza olemba magazini ya Galamukani! pankhani ya zimene zimachititsa achinyamata ena kukhala ndi zibwenzi zobisa. Kenaka ganizirani za mafunso otsatirawa.

▪ “Achinyamata ena alibe munthu aliyense wowathandiza maganizo kunyumba kwawo, motero amaganiza zongopeza chibwenzi basi.”—Anatero Wendy.

Kodi inuyo monga kholo, mungatani kuti muonetsetse kuti ana anu mukuwathandiza bwinobwino pamaganizo awo? Kodi pali zinazake zimene mungasinthe kuti muzithandiza kwambiri ana anu m’njira imeneyi? Ngati zilipo, n’zotani?

▪ “Ndili ndi zaka 14, kusukulu kwathu kunali mnyamata wina wochokera kunja amene anandifunsira chibwenzi. Ndiye ndinam’lola chifukwa ndinkaona ngati zonyaditsa kukhala ndi mnyamata woti azikugwira m’khosi.”—Anatero Diane.

Kodi Diane akanakhala mwana wanu, mukanam’thandiza bwanji?

▪ “Sindinkavutika kubisa chibwenzi changa chifukwa ndinali ndi foni yam’manja. Makolo sadziwa chilichonse chimene ukuchita.”—Anatero Annette.

Kodi mungatani kuti ana anu azisamala pogwiritsa ntchito foni yam’manja?

▪ “Sizivuta kuchita chibwenzi mobisa makamaka ngati makolo saonetsetsa zochita za ana awo ndiponso anthu amene akucheza nawo.”—Anatero Thomas.

Kodi pali zimene mungachite kuti muwonjezere zochita zimene mumachitira pamodzi ndi ana anu achinyamata, koma mukumawapatsabe ufulu woyenerera?

▪ “Nthawi zambiri makolo ndi ana awo sapezeka panyumba nthawi zofanana. Kapenanso makolowo amakhulupirira ana awo monyanyira n’kumawalola kupita malo osiyanasiyana ndi anzawo.”—Anatero Nicholas.

Taganizirani za mnzake wapamtima kwambiri wa mwana wanu. Kodi mukudziwa zinthu zimene amachita pa uwiri wawo?

▪ “Nthawi zina achinyamata amachita zibwenzi mobisa makolo akakhala ovuta kwambiri.”—Anatero Paul.

Kodi mungatani kuti “kulolera kwanu kudziwike kwa anthu onse” koma popanda kuphwanya mfundo za m’Baibulo?—Afilipi 4:5.

▪ “Ndisanakwanitse zaka 15, ndinkadziderera kwambiri motero ndinkafuna kuti ndizichita zinthu zoti ena andione basi. Choncho ndinayamba kumuimbira foni mnyamata winawake wa mumpingo wapafupi ndipo tinayamba chibwenzi. Mnyamatayu ankandichititsa kuti ndidzidziona kuti ndine munthu wofunika kwambiri.”—Anatero Linda.

Kodi ndi zinthu zotani zimene zikanam’thandiza Linda kunyumba kwawo?

Bwanji osagwiritsa ntchito nkhani ino, makamaka tsamba linolo, pokambirana ndi mwana wanu? Njira yabwino kwambiri yothetsera zinsinsi zotere ndiyo kulankhulana moona mtima ndiponso mosapita m’mbali. Pamafunika nthawi ndiponso kuleza mtima kuti mudziwe zimene mwana amafunikira, komabe mumapindula pochita zimenezi.—Miyambo 20:5.