Izihluthulelo Zenjabulo Yomkhaya
Ukuphumelela Onyakeni Wenu Wokuqala Nishadile
Umyeni uthi: “Ngiyamangala ukuthi kanti mina nomkami siyimpumalanga nentshonalanga kangaka! Ngokwesibonelo, mina ngithanda ukusheshe ngilale, kodwa yena uthanda ukulala ebusuku kakhulu. Kodwa into engihlula kunazo zonke ukuqonda imizwelo yakhe eshintshashintsha njalo! Nakhu okunye okuxakayo—uma ngipheka uyangigxeka, ikakhulu uma ngisula izandla ngendwangu yezitsha.”
Inkosikazi ithi: “Umyeni wami uyisithuli. Mina ngijwayele abantu abaxoxayo ngoba ekhaya singabantu abavulekile. Asive sixoxa, ikakhulu ngesikhathi sokudla. Nakhu okunye, uma umyeni wami epheka usula izandla zakhe ngendwangu yokusula izintsha! Lokho kuyangicasula! Kungani kunzima kangaka ukuqonda abantu besilisa? Imishado yabanye abantu iyaphumelela; bona benza ngani?”
UMA usanda kushada, ingabe uke wabhekana nezinselele ezicishe zifane nalezi? Ingabe ubona sengathi oshade naye useqale imikhuba abengenayo futhi usenamaphutha abengenawo ngesikhathi nithandana? Ungakunciphisa kanjani ukucindezeleka okubangelwa “izinkinga zansuku zonke abantu abashadile ababa nazo”?—1 Korinte 7:28, Today’s English Version.
Okokuqala, ningacabangi ukuthi ngenxa nje yokuthi senishadile seniyizazi ezindabeni zomshado. Kungenzeka ukuthi niye nahlakulela amakhono amahle okusebenzelana nabanye lapho ningakashadi futhi kungenzeka ukuthi aye athuthuka ngesikhathi nithandana. Kodwa umshado uzowavivinya lawo makhono ngezindlela ezintsha futhi lokho kungase kudinge ukuba nifunde amanye. Ingabe nizowenza amaphutha njengoba nizama ukwenza lokho? Nakanjani! Nokho, ningakwazi yini ukuhlakulela amakhono nezimfanelo ezidingekayo? Yebo!
Indlela engcono kakhulu yokuthuthukisa noma yiliphi ikhono iwukufuna usizo esazini salowo mkhakha bese nisebenzisa iseluleko saso. Ungqondongqondo wezomshado nguJehova uNkulunkulu. Ingani nguYena owasidala saba nesifiso sokushada. (Genesise 2:22-24) Phawula indlela iZwi lakhe, iBhayibheli, elinganisiza ngayo ukuba nibhekane nezinselele futhi nibe namakhono adingekayo ukuze unyaka wenu wokuqala nishadile ube yimpumelelo futhi nibe nomshado ojabulisayo phakade.
IKHONO 1. FUNDANI UKUXOXA NGEZINTO
Ziyini izinselele?
UKeiji, * indoda eshadile ehlala eJapan, ngezinye izikhathi wayekhohlwa ukuthi izinqumo azenzayo ziyamthinta umkakhe. Uthi: “Ngangamukela izimemo ngingaxoxanga nomkami kuqala. Kamuva ngangithola ukuthi izimo zakhe azimvumeli ukwamukela lezo zimemo.” U-Allen, indoda eshadile yase-Australia, uthi: “Ngangibona sengathi akubona ubudoda ukuqale ngixoxe nomkami ngezinto.” Lokhu kwabangelwa yindlela akhula ngayo. UDianne, owesifazane ohlala eBrithani, naye wayenza iphutha elifanayo. Uthi: “Ngase ngijwayele ukucela izeluleko kwabasekhaya uma kudingeka ngenze isinqumo. Ngakho, ekuqaleni ngangixoxa nabo kuqala kunokuxoxa nomyeni wami.”
Liyini ikhambi?
Khumbula ukuthi uJehova uNkulunkulu ubheka abantu ababili abashadile ‘njengabanyamanye.’ (Mathewu 19:3-6) Emehlweni akhe, abukho ubuhlobo babantu obubaluleke ukudlula obendoda nomfazi! Ukuze lobo buhlobo buhlale buqinile, ukukhulumisana okuhle kubaluleke kakhulu.
Indoda nomkayo bangafunda lukhulu ngokucabangela indlela uJehova uNkulunkulu axoxa ngayo no-Abrahama. Funda ngalokhu kuGenesise 18:17-33. Phawula ukuthi uNkulunkulu wambonisa inhlonipho u-Abrahama ngalezi zindlela ezintathu. (1) UJehova wamchazela lokho ayehlose ukukwenza. (2) Wamlalela lapho ebeka imibono yakhe. (3) Wazama ngakho konke okusemandleni ukuthatha isinyathelo esasiyobonisa ukuthi uyamcabangela u-Abrahama. Ungasilingisa kanjani lesi sibonelo lapho uxoxa nowakwakho?
ZAMA LOKHU: Lapho ukhuluma ngezinto ezizothinta oshade naye, (1) chaza ukuthi ungathanda ukusisingatha kanjani isimo, kodwa imibono yakho yibeke njengokusikisela, hhayi njengezinqumo eziwujuqu noma ngendlela ezwakala sengathi umnqumela ugwayi katiki; (2) cela owakwakho ukuba naye aveze owakhe umbono futhi ulihloniphe ilungelo lakhe lokuba nombono ohlukile kowakho; futhi (3) ‘ukucabangela kwakho makubonakale’ ngokusebenzisa ukusikisela koshade naye noma nini lapho kungenzeka.—Filipi 4:5.
IKHONO 2. FUNDA UKUBEKA IZINTO NGENDLELA ENGAPHOXI
Iyini inselele?
Mhlawumbe indlela nendawo owakhulela kuyo yakuthonya ukuba ubeke imibono yakho ngolimi oluhlabayo futhi ungaguquki kuyo. Ngokwesibonelo, uLiam, ohlala eYurophu, uthi: “Abantu engakhula phakathi kwabo babengayinaki indlela abakhuluma ngayo. Ukukhuluma kwami ngendlela ehlabayo kwakuvame ukumphatha kabi umkami. Kwadingeka ngifunde ukukhuluma kahle.”
Liyini ikhambi?
Ungaveli uphethe ngokuthi owakwakho ufuna ukhulume naye ngendlela ovame ukukhuluma ngayo. (Filipi 2:3, 4) Iseluleko umphostoli uPawulu asinikeza isithunywa sevangeli esithile singabasiza abantu abasanda kushada. Wabhala: “Inceku yeNkosi akufanele ilwe, kunalokho kufanele ibe mnene.” EsiGrekini sokuqala, igama elithi “mnene” lingahunyushwa nangokuthi “isu lokungacunuli.” (2 Thimothewu 2:24) Isu lokungacunuli yikhono lokubona ukuthi isimo esithile sibucayi bese usisingatha ngomusa, ngaphandle kokuphatha kabi abanye.
ZAMA LOKHU: Uma ucasulwe oshade naye, ngeso lengqondo, mbheke njengomngane noma njengomqashi wakho. Uma umbheka ngaleyo ndlela, ubusayomphakamisela yini izwi noma umkhulumise kabi? Yibe usucabanga ngezizathu ezenza owakwakho afanelwe inhlonipho nomusa owengeziwe ukudlula umngane noma umqashi.—Kolose 4:6.
IKHONO 3. FUNDANI UKWAZI NOKUFEZA IZINDIMA ZENU EZINTSHA
Iyini inselele?
Ekuqaleni, umyeni angase abusebenzise kabi ubunhloko bakhe, noma inkosikazi ingase ibeke ukusikisela kwayo budlabha. Ngokwesibonelo, u-Antonio, indoda eshadile yase-Italy, uthi: “Kwakuqabukela ubaba exoxe nomama ngezinqumo zomndeni. Ngakho, ekuqaleni ngangiphatha umndeni wami ngesandla esiqinile.” UDebbie, inkosikazi yaseCanada, uthi: “Ngangifuna umyeni wami acoceke kakhulu. Kodwa ukumcefezela kwami kwakumenza abe yisijaka nakakhulu.”
Yini amadoda angayenza?
Abanye abayeni abakuqondi ngokunembile lokho okushiwo iBhayibheli ngokuzithoba kwamakhosikazi nokulalela kwabantwana abazali babo. (Kolose 3:20; 1 Petru 3:1) IBhayibheli lithi umyeni kufanele ‘anamathele kumkakhe, futhi bobabili babe nyamanye’; alikusho lokhu ngomzali nengane. (Mathewu 19:5) UJehova uthi inkosikazi ingumphelelisi womyeni wayo. (Genesise 2:18) Akakaze athi ingane ingumphelelisi womzali wayo. Ubona kanjani-ke—uma umyeni ephatha umkakhe njengengane, ingabe ubonisa inhlonipho ngelungiselelo lomshado?
Empeleni, iZwi likaNkulunkulu likunxusa ukuba uphathe umkakho ngendlela uJesu aphatha ngayo ibandla lobuKristu. Ungenza kube lula ngaye ukuba akubheke njengenhloko yakhe uma, okokuqala, ungalindeli ukuthi zisuka nje uzovele azithobe kuwe nokuthi ngeke alenze iphutha kule ndaba. Okwesibili, kuyoba lula ngaye ukuzithoba kuwe uma umthanda njengoba uzithanda, ngisho nalapho kuphakama izinkinga.—Efesu 5:25-29.
Yini inkosikazi engayenza?
Lamukele iqiniso lokuthi umyeni wakho useyinhloko yakho emiswe uNkulunkulu. (1 Korinte 11:3) Uma umhlonipha, uhlonipha uNkulunkulu. Uma wenqaba ubunhloko bakhe, awugcini nje ngokwembula indlela ozizwa ngayo ngaye, kodwa nangoNkulunkulu nezimfuneko zakhe.—Kolose 3:18.
Lapho nixoxa ngezinkinga ezinzima, funda ukuhlasela inkinga—hhayi ubudoda bomyeni wakho. Ngokwesibonelo, iNdlovukazi u-Esteri, yayifuna umyeni wayo, iNkosi u-Ahashiveroshi, alungise isinqumo esithile esasintula ubulungisa. Kunokuba ihlasele umyeni wayo, yabeka isikhalo sayo ngekhono. Umyeni wayo wakwamukela ukusikisela kwayo, futhi kamuva wenza okufanele. (Esteri 7:1-4; 8:3-8) Umyeni wakho uyofunda ukukuthanda ngokujulile uma, okokuqala, umnika isikhathi sokuba afunde futhi afeze kahle indima yakhe entsha njengenhloko yekhaya, okwesibili, uma umphatha ngenhlonipho, ngisho nalapho enza amaphutha.—Efesu 5:33.
ZAMA LOKHU: Kunokuba ube nondendende lwezici ofuna owakwakho ashintshe kuzo, yiba nohlu lwezici okufanele wena ushintshe kuzo. Wena ndoda: Lapho ucasula umkakho ngokusebenzisa kabi ubunhloko bakho noma ngokungafezi indima yakho, mbuze ukuthi ungathuthukisa kanjani, bese ukubhala phansi lokho kusikisela. Wena nkosikazi: Uma umyeni wakho enomuzwa wokuthi awumhloniphi, mbuze ukuthi ungathuthukisa kanjani, bese ukuphawula lokho kusikisela.
Ungalindeli Izimangaliso
Ukufunda ukulondoloza ubuhlobo bomshado obujabulisayo nobunempilo kufana nokufunda ukuhamba ngebhayisikili. Ngaphambi kokuba ube umpetha, uzokuwa kaningana. Ngokufanayo, kumelwe nikulindele ukuthi nizokwenza amaphutha ahlabisa amahloni njengoba nifunda ukuba ompetha emshadweni.
Funda ukuzihleka nokungeqisi endleleni obheka ngayo izinto. Ungazithathi kancane izinto ezikhathaza owakwakho. Funda ukuhleka amaphutha akho awubuwula. Sebenzisa amathuba okujabulisa owakwakho onyakeni wenu wokuqala nishadile. (Duteronomi 24:5) Ngaphezu kwakho konke, livumeleni iZwi likaNkulunkulu liqondise umshado wenu. Uma nenza kanjalo, umshado wenu uyoqina unyaka nonyaka.
^ isig. 9 Amanye amagama ashintshiwe.
ZIBUZE . . .
Ingabe umngane wami wesifuba ngumuntu engishade naye noma abanye abantu?
Yini engiyenzile namuhla ebonisa ukuthi ngiyamthanda futhi ngiyamhlonipha owakwami?
Okunye Ongase Ukuthande
INQABAYOKULINDA
Ukuxazulula Izinkinga Emshadweni Wakho
Izimiso zeBhayibheli zingakusiza ukuba uxazulule izinkinga ngendlela enothando nenenhlonipho. Hlola izindlela ezine eziyisihluthulelo.
UMNDENI WAKHO UNGAJABULA
Bheka KuNkulunkulu Ukuze Ube Nomshado Ojabulisayo
Ukusebenzisa imibuzo emibili elula kungakusiza uthuthukise umshado wakho.
PHAPHAMA!
Indlela Yokubonisa Inhlonipho
Inhlonipho emshadweni akuyona into yokuboniswa lapho uthandile—iyisidingo. Ungabonisa kanjani ukuthi uyamhlonipha oshade naye?
