Wumvise umwana wawe ariko ararira avuga ati: «Birananiye! Biragoye cane! Sinzokwigera ndabishobora!» Yamaze gucika intege kubera abona ko igikorwa ariko arakora kigoye. Birakubabaza ubonye umwana wawe abuze amahoro kubera igikorwa kanaka camunaniye, ariko wipfuza kumufasha kwumirako. None woca wihutira kumufasha? Woba womureka akabiheba? Canke ukwiye kumwigisha kwumirako?

 Kwumirako birahambaye. Igihe abavyeyi bigisha umwana wabo gukora ibikorwa bigoye kugira bibafashe gutsimbataza kamere zitandukanye, bituma uwo mwana aronka amanota meza kw’ishure, akamana umunezero, akagira amagara meza kandi akabana neza n’abandi. Ku rundi ruhande, igihe abavyeyi bataretse ngo umwana wabo ahangane n’ingorane, arashobora kurwara akabonge, akumva ko ata na kimwe ashoboye, mbere amaze gukura bikamugora guhimbarirwa ubuzima.

 Abana barashobora kwiga kwumirako. Mbere n’abana bakiri bato cane barashobora kwiga gukora ibintu bigoye no gutorera umuti ingorane. Mu cigwa kimwe cagizwe, abashakashatsi basanze umwana afise umwaka n’amezi atatu ashobora kugerageza gukora ikintu kigoye nimba yarigeze kubona umuntu akuze ariko aragerageza gukora ikintu kigoye kandi amaherezo akaroranirwa. Ku rundi ruhande, kubona umuntu ariko araroranirwa ata kigoro vyamusavye nta na kimwe bifasha umwana.

 «Ndibuka ingene nigishije abakorwa banje kuboha imigozi y’ibirato. Ivyo si ibintu wokwiga ku musi umwe gusa. Igihe cose baba bagira babohe imigozi y’ibirato vyabo, barashobora kumara iminota 10 gushika kuri 15 bariko baragerageza kuyiboha nk’uko naberetse. Bibananiye ni ho nabafasha. Bamaze amezi nk’angahe bariko baravyiga, kandi hari n’igihe vyabananira bakarira. Ariko amaherezo barabimenye. Nari gushobora kwiyorohereza nkabagurira ibirato bitagira imigozi. Ariko rimwe na rimwe, na twebwe abavyeyi turakeneye kwumirako kugira twigishe abana bacu kwumirako.»​—Colleen.

 Abavyeyi barashobora gutuma abana batiga kwumirako. Abavyeyi bamwebamwe barashobora gukora ibintu batabitumwe n’imvo mbi ariko bigatuma abana bibagora kwiga kwumirako. Uti gute? Kubera ko abavyeyi bamwebamwe baba bipfuza ko umwana wabo yumva yuko hari ico amaze, boshobora kwihutira kumufasha kugira ntashavure canke ngo yumve ko vyamunaniye. Ariko ivyo ntivyama ari vyiza. Umwanditsi umwe yitwa Jessica Lahey yanditse ati: «Igihe cose dufashije . . . abana bacu bariko barakora igikorwa kigoye, ni nk’aho tuba tuberetse ko batobishobora be n’uko tutabizigira.» a None ivyo bivamwo iki? Muri kazoza nibaba bariko barakora igikorwa kigoye, barashobora kuzoca bihutira kugiheba kubera bizigiye ko umuntu akuze azobafasha.

 Nubamenyereze gukora cane. Abavyeyi barashobora kwigisha abana babo kwumirako mu kubaha ibikorwa bihuye n’imyaka yabo. Nk’akarorero, abana bari hagati y’imyaka itatu n’itanu barashobora gufasha mu kumesura no gupanga ibikinisho vyabo. Abana bariko barisumbura barashobora gufasha mu gupanga ibintu vyasumwe, mu gutunganya imeza imbere yo gufungura n’inyuma y’aho, kuja guta ubucafu hamwe no mu kugira isuku risanzwe. Abageze mu buyabaga na bo barashobora gukora ibikorwa bigoye kuruta, nko kugira isuku mu nzu no gukora ivyuma vyapfuye. Vyoshika abana ntibashime gukora udukorwa two muhira. Ariko igihe abavyeyi babamenyereje kubikora kuva bakiri bato, bizobagirira akamaro. None vyobagirira akamaro gute? Bituma bataba abanebwe kandi bikazobafasha kudaheba akazi kagoye ariko gakenewe, igihe bazoba bamaze gukura.

 Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Akigoro kose umuntu agize karavamwo ivyiza.»​—Imigani 14:23.

 «Ntutakaze umwanya uha abana ibikorwa kugira gusa babe barasamara. Nta muntu n’umwe naho yoba ari umwana, yobishima. Numuhe igikorwa gituma agira ico agufashije. Nimba umwana wawe akiri muto, numuhe ibikorwa ashoboye, nko guhanagura ivumbi. Nimba uriko uroza umuduga, numusabe yoze ahantu ubona ko hokugora gushikira. Hanyuma ntiwibagire kumushimira.»​—Chris.

 Niwigishe umwana wawe gukora igikorwa kigoye. Hari igihe abana bahagarika gukora igikorwa bariko barakora kubera gusa batazi ingene bokirangiza. Rero igihe uriko urigisha umwana wawe ikintu gishasha, nukoreshe uburyo bukurikira. Ubwa mbere, nukore ico kintu umwana wawe ariko arakwitegereza. Ubwa kabiri, nimugikorere hamwe. Ubwa gatatu, niwitegereze umwana wawe ariko aragikora hanyuma umubwire ivyo yoryohora. Ubwa nyuma, numureke agikore wenyene.

 Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Ndabahaye akarorero, kugira namwe mugire nk’uko ndabagiriye.»​—Yohani 13:15.

 «Mfatiye ku vyo niboneye, twebwe abavyeyi turakwiye kubera akarorero keza abana bacu nimba twipfuza ko biga kwumirako. Turakeneye kugaragaza kamere twipfuza ko abana bacu bagira.»​—Doug.

 Nufashe umwana wawe gutahura ko bishitse ikintu kikatugora canke kikatunanira ari ibisanzwe. Numwiganire incuro vyashitse ikintu kikakunanira n’ingene kuba umuntu yumirako vyagufashije. Nubwire umwana wawe ko bishitse ikintu gishasha kikamugora, ari ibisanzwe be n’uko gukora amakosa bishobora kumwigisha. Numuhumurize ko ikintu kimunaniye bitagabanya urukundo umufitiye. Nka kurya nyene imitsi irushiriza gukomera igihe ikoreshwa, ni ko umwana wawe azoba umuntu yumirako igihe umureka agakora ibintu bigoye. Rero bishitse ukabona umwana wawe biriko biramugora gukora ikintu kanaka, aho kwihutira kumufasha, nubanze umuhe umwanya wo kugerageza, naho vyotuma ata umutwe. Igitabu kimwe (How Children Succeed) kivuga giti: «Uburyo bwiza kuruta butuma umwana akura mu mutwe kandi akagira kamere nziza ni igihe agerageza gukora ibintu biboneka ko bimurengeye.»

 Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Ni vyiza ko umuntu ashikirwa n’ibintu bigoye mu buto bwiwe.»​—Gucura intimba 3:27, Contemporary English Version.

 «Igihe abana bamaze umwanya bariko baragerageza gukora ikintu kigoye ariko bakaba bazi ko papa na mama baza kubafasha bibananiye, birabagirira akamaro. Bamaze umwanya bariko barabikora, barateba bakabishobora maze bikabafasha kwiga ubuhinga bushasha no kubona ko kwumirako bihambaye.»​—Jordan.

 Nukeze umwana wawe kubera akigoro yagize, atari kubera aciye ubwenge. Nk’akarorero, igihe umwana yatoye ikibazo kw’ishure, aho kumubwira ngo: «Neza cane mwana! Uraciye ubwenge,» numubwire uti: «Neza cane mwana! Narakunze cane ingene wafashe umwanya urasubiramwo ivyigwa.» Kubera iki bihambaye ko umukeza kubera akigoro yagize, atari kubera aciye ubwenge? Umuhinga mu vy’inyifato yitwa Carol Dweck yavuze ko gushimagiza abana kubera ubwenge bwabo «bituma babona ko ata co bamaze igihe hari ikintu kibagoye canke kitagenze neza.» Abandanya ati: «Ingabire nziza abavyeyi boha abana babo ni ukubigisha gukunda gukora ibintu bigoye, kwigira ku makosa yabo, kurya ivyo babiriye akuya no kuguma biga ibintu bishasha. Ivyo bizotuma abana badakora ibintu kugira gusa bahayagizwe.» b

 Ico Bibiliya ivuga: «Umuntu asuzumwa n’amajambo yo kumukeza.»​—Imigani 27:21.