Mwanaanu mukubusi ulakonzya kwaamba kuti mulaziyumya kapati zyintu. Mbwaanga kuyanda kukwabilila bana banu mukuli wanu, mulakonzya kuyeeya kuti, ‘ikuti ndiyuubye-ubye milawo, mwanaangu inga wanjila mumapenzi.’

Mweelede kubikka milawo yeelede njakonzya kutobela mwanaanu. Nokuba boobo, cakusaanguna mweelede kuzyiba cipa mwanaanu kutaikkomanina milawo njomwabikka.

Kaambo Kakubeja: Bakubusi boonse balakaka kutobela milawo; nkaambo ncilengwa buya nobali muciimo eeci cakukubuka.

Kaambo Kamasimpe: Kuti bazyali babikka milawo yeelede akwiibandika anguwe, mukubusi inga tiicamwaalila kwiitobela.

Nokuba kuti twaambo tunji tulakonzya kujatikizyigwa mukuzanga kwamwana, bazyali cakutazyiba inga bapa kuti bana bazange kuti kabaiyumya milawo alimwi naa kuti kaitaceeleli kweelana aciimo. Amubone twaambo ootu tutobela:

• Kuyumya milawo. Kuti bazyali babikka milawo kakunyina kubandika amwanaabo, milawo eeyo ulakonzya kwiibona kuti imuyumizyila buyo buumi muciindi cakumukwabilila. Akaambo kaceeci, ulakonzya kunoosisikizya kucita zyintu nzyobakamukasya bazyali.

• Taiceeleli kweelana aciimo. Kuti mwana wabuzya kaambo milawo ncoili boobo, bazyali balakonzya kwaamba buyo kuti, “Kocita buyo mbondakwaambila,” kutondezya mwana kuti bazyali mbabajisi nguzu zyakubikka milawo. Pele mukubusi walo, uyanda kuti bamwaambile kaambo keni. Kayi ino-ino buyo mukubusi uyootalika kulikkalila akutalika kulisalila zyakucita. Lino cilakonzya kugwasya kuti watalikilalimwi kucizyiba kusala zyakucita ciindi nomucikkala anguwe.

Pele ino inga mwacita buti kuti kacilibonya kuti lyoonse mwanaanu mukubusi ilamunyemya milawo yanu?

Cakusaanguna, amuzyibe kuti bakubusi balayanda kuzyiba zyintu nzyobazumizyidwe anzyobatazumizyidwe kucita alimwi balayanda kuba amilawo iili boobu nokuba kuti tabakonzyi kwaamba. Aboobo, amubikke milawo alimwi amubone kuti mwanaanu mukubusi ulaimvwisya. Bbuku lyakuti Letting Go With Love and Confidence lyaamba kuti: “Kuti bakubusi babikkilwa milawo iimvwika alimwi kabalangila kuti bazyali banoobeendelezya kabotu, tabakalinjizyi mubukkale bulibilisya.” Mukwiimpana, bazyali ibayeeya kuti kubikka milawo tacigwasyi, bapa bana babo kuyeeya kuti tabababikkili maano. Eeci ncecipa kuti bana kabazanga.—Mpoijanika njiisyo eeyi mu Bbaibbele: Tusimpi 29:15.

Mbuti lino mbomukonzya kutondezya kunyoneka? Amumuzumizye mwanaanu mukubusi kwaamba mbwalimvwa kujatikizya milawo yamumukwasyi. Mucikozyanyo, kuti wamulomba kuti mucince ciindi ncayelede kusika aŋanda, amumuswiilile ciindi naambaula. Kuti kamumuswiilila mwanaanu, ulalangilwa kuulemeka alimwi akuutobela mulawo ngomwabikka—nokuba kuti taukkomanini.—Mpoijanika njiisyo eeyi mu Bbaibbele: Jakobo 1:19.

Kamutanabikka mulawo, mweelede kuyeeya kuti: Bakubusi bayanda lwaanguluko lunji kwiinda loolo lubeelede, kakuli bazyali bapa bana babo lwaanguluko lusyoonto buyo kwiinda loolo ndobeelede kupegwa. Aboobo, amubikkile maano kuzyintu nzyalomba mwanaanu. Sena ulibonya kuti inga wacikonzya kulicitila zyintu? Sena bukkale inga bwayanda kuti munyoneke? Amulibambile kucinca alimwi akunyoneka kuti kwayandika kucita boobo.—Mpoijanika njiisyo eeyi mu Bbaibbele: Matalikilo 19:17-22.

Kunze buyo lyakuswiilila naamba mbwalimvwa mwanaanu, amubone kuti awalo wazyiba zyintu nzyomulibilika. Kwiinda mukucita boobo, muyoomuyiisya mwanaanu kutabikkila buyo maano kuzyintu nzyayanda walo, pele ambobalimvwa bamwi.—Mpoijanika njiisyo eeyi mu Bbaibbele: 1 Bakolinto 10:24.

Mpoonya, amubikke mulawo alimwi akupandulula ncomwaubikkila. Nokuba kuti mwanaanu taukkomanini mulawo ooyo, ulakonzya kukkomana kuba abazyali bamuswiilila alimwi ibayanda kuzyiba mbwalimvwa. Amuzyibe kuti, mumuyiisya kucita zyintu mbuli muntu mupati. Kwiinda mukubikka milawo iitobeleka alimwi akwiibandika amwanaanu, aakukomena uyooba muntu uubikkila maano.—Mpoijanika njiisyo eeyi mu Bbaibbele: Tusimpi 22:6.