Bakubusi Balabuzya

Ino Mbuti Mbondikonzya Kumvwana Abanabokwesu?

Ino inga waamba buti kujatikizya mbomvwana amwanookwenu aumwi?

․․․․․ Tulamvwana kapati

․․․․․ Tuleendelana bunji bwaziindi

․․․․․ Mboobuya tulalekelelana

․․․․․ Tulalwana lyoonse

BANABUNYINA bamwi balamvwana kapati. Mucikozyanyo, Felicia, uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 19, wakaamba kuti: “Irena, imusyoonto wangu musimbi uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 16 ngumwi wabeenzuma mbotumvwana limwi kapati.” * Awalo Carly, uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 17, wakaamba kujatikizya Eric imupati wakwe uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 20 kuti: “Tulamvwana kapati alimwi tatulwani.”

Nokuba boobo banji tabamvwani, mbuli Lauren a Marla. Lauren wakaamba kuti: “Lyoonse tulakazyanya.” Alimwi wakayungizya kwaamba kuti: “Notuba twaambo tutayi komoonga tutupa kubwesyana.” Naa andiza ulimvwa mbuli Alice uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 12, walo iwaamba kujatikizya Dennis imunyina uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 14, kuti: “Ulandicima! Ulanjila muŋanda mondoona akubweza kufwumbwa cintu ncayanda kakunyina akulomba. Ucita mbuli muntu uutakkwene!”

Sena ulijisi munyoko uukucima kapati? Mubwini, bazyali bako mbobajisi mukuli wakubona kuti zyintu zyoonse muŋanda zyeenda kabotu. Nokuba boobo, nolilampa weelede kwiiya kukkala kabotu abantu. Ulakonzya kucita oobo ciindi nocili amunzi okwenu.

Koyeeya ziindi nomwakaimpana amwanookwenu. Ino inga mulwanina nzi kanji-kanji? Kolanga mulongo wazyintu uulembedwe ansi aawa, alimwi kokkwenyuna (✔) mukabbokesi keelede naa kolemba cintu cimwi icikunyemya kapati.

□ Zyintu. Ulayandisya kubweza zyintu zyangu kakunyina kundilomba!

□ Kuteendelana muzyintu zinji. Ulaliyanda kapati, uyanda kuti lyoonse kandaambila cakucita mbuli kuti ndemwini tandikonzyi kuliyeeyela cakucita.

□ Tandilemeki. Takonkomoni nayanda kunjila muŋanda mondoona naa pe ubala milumbe yangu yaaluwaile naa akkompyuta kakunyina kundilomba.

□ Twaambo tumwi.

Ikuti naa mwanookwenu ulakunyemya akaambo kakuti lyoonse uyanda kuti kakwaambila cakucita naa takulemeki, ulakonzya kutalika kukucima. Pele kaambyo kamwi kamu Bbaibbele kaamba kuti: “Kuminuna impemo kulaleta bulowa, akubusya bukali kulaleta inkondo.” (Tusimpi 30:33) Ikuti naa wamubikkilila, ulakonzya kumucitila zyintu cabukali mbubwenya mbuli kuminuna naa kutyanka mpemo mbokukonzya kupa kuti  unokole. Mpoonya penzi lilaindila kukomena. (Tusimpi 26:21) Ino ncinzi ncokonzya kucita kutegwa cintu cimwi icatakukkomanisya citamupi kubwesyana? Cintu cakusaanguna nkuzyiba cini caleta penzi.

Sena cacitika buyo aciindi aawa naa kuli capa kuti cicitike?

Kutamvwana akati kabanabunyina kuli mbuli mfwula. Kwiilanga buyo atala, mfwula ilibonya kuti ncilonda, pele mubwini kuli cini capa kuti imene. Mbubwenya buyo, ikutamvwana akati kabanabunyina kanji-kanji ncitondezyo buyo cacintu cimwi cilubide akati kabo.

Mulakonzya kusilika mfwula kwiinda mukwiityanka. Pele ikucita boobo nkusola kugusya mfwula kutali kujaya kazunda kapa kuti imene alimwi kukonzya buyo kupa kuti muntu abe acibata naa cilonda cipati. Icikonzya kugwasya kapati nkusilika naa kujaya kazunda kapa kuti mfwula imene kutegwa itakameni alimwi. Ncimwi buyo akutamvwana kuliko akati kabanabokwabo. Kozyiba cini icipa kuti kamutamvwani, kutali kulanga penzi liliko lino. Alimwi uyakucikonzya kutobela lulayo lwamwami musongo Solomoni, iwakalemba kuti: “Busongo bwamuntu bulamumusya kukalala.”—Tusimpi 19:11.

Mucikozyanyo, Alice iwaambwa kumatalikilo, wakaamba kujatikizya Dennis kuti: “Ulanjila muŋanda mondoona akubweza zyintu kakunyina akulomba.” Oobu mbwacita. Pele ino uyeeya kuti ncinzi cini cimupa kucita boobu? Kubonekaanka kutalemeka mucizyi wakwe. *

Alice ulakonzya kusola kumana penzi eeli kwiinda mukwaambila Dennis kuti atakanjili limbi muŋanda mwaona naa kubelesya zyintu zyakwe. Pele kucita boobo takukonzyi kulimana penzi alimwi cikonzya buyo kupa kuti bazumanane kubwesyana. Nokuba boobo, ikuti Alice wacikonzya kugwasya Dennis kuzyiba kuti weelede kumulemeka, balakonzya kutalika kumvwana.

Koiya Kubamba Twaambo naa Kweeleba Mapenzi

Mubwini, kuzyiba kaambo keni ikapa kuti  kamuzwangana matalikilo buyo aakumana penzi. Ino ncinzi ncokonzya kucita kutegwa penzi eeli limaninine? Sola nzila eezyi zili cisambomwe.

1. Amulibikkile milawo. Mwami Solomoni wakalemba kuti: “Makanze alasinkinizigwa na kwabula lulayo, pele na kuli basinkuta banji alazuzikizigwa.” (Tusimpi 15:22) Kutegwa utatyompwi kokalanga alimwi kaambo nkookkwenyuna naa nkoolemba ikapa kuti kamutalikana amwanookwenu. Amubone kuti naa inga mwalibikkila milawo njomukonzya kutobela njomubona kuti inga yamugwasya kumana penzi. Mucikozyanyo, ikuti naa mulwanina zyintu, Mulawo wakusaanguna ulakonzya kuba wakuti: “Lyoonse kolomba kotana bweza cintu camweenzinyoko.” Mulawo wabili ulakonzya kuba wakuti: “Konvwa kuti mwanookwenu waamba kuti, ‘Peepe, utacibwezi cintu eeco.’” Ciindi nomupanga milawo eeyi, mweelede kuyeeya malailile aa Jesu aakuti: “Nkaambo kaako zintu zyoonse zili buti nzimuyanda kuti bantu bamucitile, anywebo amubacitile nzizyonya.” (Matayo 7:12) Munzila eeyi, muyakupanga milawo njomukonzya kutobela noonse nobile. Mpoonya amubandike abazyali benu kujatikizya cizuminano cenu kuti mubone naa abalo balacikkomanina.—Ba-Efeso 6:1.

2. Koitobela milawo. Imwaapostolo Paulo wakalemba kuti: “Ino yebo ooyiisya mweenzinyoko sa toliisyi omwini? Yebo okambauka kutabba, sa ulabba?” (Ba-Roma 2:21) Ino inga waitobela buti njiisyo eeyi? Ikuti koyanda kuti banabokwenu kabakonkomona ciindi nobayanda kunjila muŋanda moona, nkokuti ayebo weelede kukonkomona ikuti koyanda kunjila moboona naa weelede kulomba kuti koyanda kubala milumbe yabo yaaluwaile naa akkompyuta.

3. Utanoofwambaani kunyema. Ino nkaambo nzi lulayo oolu ncoluli lubotu? Kaambyo kamwi kamu Bbaibbele kaamba kuti: “Nkaambo mumyoyo yabafubafuba mobukede bukali.” (Mukambausi 7:9) Ikuti kofwambaana kunyema, tonakukkomani mubuumi. Mubwini, mwanookwenu uyakucita naa kwaamba zyintu zikunyemya. Pele kolibuzya kuti: “Sena kuli nondakacitide cintu cili boobu kulinguwe ciindi cimwi?” (Matayo 7:1-5) Musimbi umwi uutegwa Jenny waamba kuti: “Nondakajisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 13, ndakali kuyeeya kuti bantu beelede kumvwa buyo nzyondaamba nkaambo nzezyamaano. Musyoonto wangu musimbi lino aciimo aawa mpabede. Aboobo, nzyaamba tazindiyemyi.”

4. Kamulekelelana amoyo woonse. Ikuti kwacitika kaambo kapati mweelede kukabandika akukamana. Pele toelede kubeteka mwanookwenu akaambo kacintu cili coonse ncaakulubizyila. Jehova Leza ulakkomana ikuti naa ulilisungwide “kulekelela milandu.” (Tusimpi 19:11) Alison, imusimbi uujisi myaka yakuzyalwa iili 19, waamba kuti: “Kanji-kanji mebo amusyoonto wangu Rachel tulacikonzya kubamba twaambo ikuti naa  twaimpana. Toonse tobile tatuwaiwai kulilekelela alimwi akwaamba cintu ncotuyeeyela kuti ncicapa kuti tuzwangane. Zimwi ziindi inga ndilalindila mpaka buzuba butobela nondiya ndikabusye kaambo. Bunji bwaziindi bwaca inga cilauba-uba kumulekelela alimwi akukaluba buyo kaambo.”

5. Amulombe bazyali kuti bamugwasye. Ikuti yebo amwanookwenu tamucikonzyi kubamba kaambo, bazyali benu balakonzya kumugwasya kuti mulimane penzi akucita zyintu zileta luumuno. (Ba-Roma 14:19) Pele koyeeya kuti, kucikonzya kumana mazwanga kakunyina kwiita bazyali kuti bamugwasye ncitondezyo cakuti mwakomena ncobeni.

6. Kobubikkila maano bube bubotu mbwajisi. Kweelede kuti banabokwenu balijsi bube bubotu mbokkomanina. Kolemba cintu comwe cikukkomanisya kujatikizya mwanookwenu aumwi.

Zyina Cintu cindikkomanisya

․․․․․ ․․․․․

Muciindi cakubikkila buyo maano kuzyintu nzyobacita zitakukkomanisyi, kojana ciindi cakubaambila bube bubotu mbobajisi ibukukkomanisya.—Intembauzyo 130:3; Tusimpi 15:23.

Bwini mbwakuti: Ciindi waakutalika kulikkalila, zimwi ziindi uyakulijana akati kabantu ibakucima, mbuli babelesinyoko alimwi abantu bambi buyo ibanyina bulemu alimwi basyaacivwule mwangu. Weelede kutalikila kuŋanda kwiiya mboya kulwana zyintu zili boobu caluumuno. Ikuti naa ujisi munyoko naa mucizyi ngokatazyigwa kumvwana anguwe, kozilanga kabotu zyintu. Mwanookwenu ooyu ukugwasya kuti ube abube buyakuyandika kumbele aamazuba.

Ibbaibbele lilazumina kuti talili lyoonse nomukonzya kunoomvwana kapati amunyoko naa mucizyi. (Tusimpi 18:24) Pele ulakonzya kuyumya cilongwe ncojisi abanabokwenu ikuti wazumanana ‘kubakkazikila moyo akulekelelana,’ nociba ciindi ‘nojisi kaambo’ kalimvwisya. (Ba-Kolose 3:13) Ikuti kocita boobu, banabokwenu bayakuleka kukucima. Alimwi andiwe tonikubacimi.

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Bupanduluzi buyungizidwe

ZYAKUYEEYESYA

● Ino nkaambo nzi ncociyandika kuzyiba lwiindano luliko akati kacintu cacitika alimwi acini capa kuti cintu eeci cicitike?

● Akati kanzila zili cisambomwe izyaambwa atalaawa, ino nzizili nzyoyandika kubelesya?

[Kabbokesi kali apeeji 27]

 KOZYIBA KAAMBO KENI

Sena ulayanda kuti kokonzya kuzyiba twaambo twini itupa kuti banabunyina kabatamvwani? Ikuti naa mboobo, kobala cikozyanyo ncaakaamba Jesu camwana mutaka iwakaakulikkalila akunyonyoona lubono lwakwe loonse.—Luka 15:11-32.

Kobikkila maano kuti ubone mupati wakwe musankwa mbwaakacita ciindi mwana mutaka ooyu naakajokela kuŋanda. Mpoonya kovwiila mibuzyo iitobela.

Ino ncinzi cakapa mupati wakwe kuti acite boobu?

Ino uyeeya kuti nkaambo nzi keni kakamupa kuti acite boobu?

Ino bausyi bakacita nzi mukusola kumana penzi?

Ino ncinzi mupati wakwe ncaakeelede kucita kutegwa kaambo kamane?

Lino koyeeya nomwakazwangana amwanookwenu caino-ino. Mpoonya kolemba bwiinguzi bwako kumbali amibuzyo eeyi.

Ino ncinzi cakapa kuti mwiimpane?

Ino uyeeya kuti ncinzi cini ciletelezya eezyi zyoonse?

Ino milawo nzi njomukonzya kulibikkila kutegwa mukonzye kulimanina limwi penzi?

[Kabbokesi/Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 28]

NZYOBAAMBA BAKUBUSINYOKO

“Ndiyanda kuti lyoonse katumvwana abacizyi bangu, aboobo ndeelede kutalika ndemunya lino kumvwana ambabo.”

“Tubelekela antoomwe mumukwasyi, alimwi eeci citugwasya kuti tukamantane. Tatucizwangani maningi mbuli mbotwakali kucita kaindi.”

“Mumbazu zimwi tuliidene kapati. Pele musyoonto wangu musimbi ulaabube bwiinda kubota. Ndilamuyanda kapati!”

“Ikuti banabokwesu nobataliko, zyintu zyoonse zibotu zyakacitika nozyatakacitika. Kuli baabo ibajisi banabokwabo, ndaamba kuti, ‘Kamubabikkila maano.’”

Tia

Bianca

Samantha

Marilyn

[Cifwanikiso icili apeeji 27]

Kutamvwana akati kabanabunyina kuli mbuli mfwula—mweelede kulwana cini cileta penzi eeli, kutali buyo citondezyo