Ko e Hā ke Ikuʻi Ai ʻa e Anga Fakahaohaoá?

ʻOkú ke feinga mālohi maʻu pē ke ke fai ʻa hoʻo lelei tahá? ʻOku hā mahino, ko hoʻo fai iá ʻe lava ai ʻi he ngaahi founga lahi ke ʻaonga kiate koe mo e faʻahinga ʻoku takatakai ʻiate koé. ʻI he tafaʻaki ʻe tahá, kuo fakahoko ʻe he niʻihi ia ʻa e ngaahi meʻá ʻo tōtuʻa pea kuo nau hoko ai ko e kau tui ki he anga fakahaohaoá. Ko e hā ʻoku fakahuʻunga ʻi he meʻa ko iá?

SAI, ko e ʻuhinga ʻe taha ʻo e foʻi lea “anga fakahaohaoá” ko “ha hehema ke vakai ʻoku ʻikai ke ala tali ha meʻa pē ʻoku ʻikai ke haohaoa.” Ngalingali kuó ke fetaulaki mo e kakai ʻoku nau maʻu ʻa e hehema ko iá. ʻOku lava ke ke sio ko e ngaahi fiemaʻu tōtuʻa ʻoku nau tuku ki he niʻihi kehé, ʻe lava ke ne fakatupunga ha ngaahi palopalema lahi, ʻi hono fakatupu ha ʻatimosifia ʻo e taʻefiemālié mo e loto-siʻí. Ko e tokolahi taha ʻo e kakai ʻoku mafamafatataú ʻoku nau ʻiloʻi ko e anga fakahaohaoá ʻi he ʻuhinga ko e ngaahi fiemaʻu tōtuʻa mo taʻeʻuhinga ʻi he ngaahi meʻa kotoa pē ʻo e moʻuí ʻoku ʻikai moʻoni ke manakoa ia. Ko ha meʻa ia ke ikuʻi. Kae kehe, ko ha palopalema ia, he ko e taimi ko ia ʻoku hoko mai ai ki heʻetau fakakaukaú pe tōʻongá tonu, ʻe faingataʻa nai ke ʻiloʻi ha hehema ki he anga fakahaohaoa peheé ko ia ai, ko ha pole ia ke ikuʻi.

Ko Nelson ʻoku ʻi ai hono tuʻunga fatongia lahi mo ʻene ngaahi palopalema lahi ke solova. ʻOkú ne ʻanalaiso maʻu pē ʻa e ngaahi meʻa kuo faʻú, pea ko e meʻa mahuʻinga tahá ia. ʻOku faʻa fai ʻa e vakai ki he anga fakahaohaoá ʻoku fiemaʻu ia ki he lavameʻa ʻi he māketi ʻo e ngāue feʻauʻauhí. Neongo ʻoku fakahoungaʻi nai ʻe he niʻihi ʻa e ngāue lelei ʻa Nelson, ko ʻene anga fakahaohaoá naʻe fakatupunga ai ke ne maʻu ʻa e ngaahi palopalema fakaesino, hangē ko e ngaahi langa ʻulu mo e loto-mafasia. ʻOkú ke kau ʻi he tuʻunga ʻoku ʻi ai ʻa Nelson?

ʻOku toe uesia ʻe he anga fakahaohaoá ʻa e toʻutupú. ʻI heʻene kei siʻí, ko Rita, mei Rio de Janeiro, naʻá ne saiʻia he ʻalu ki he akó. Naʻá ne feinga ke ʻoua te ne hā fie ongoongoa, neongo ia naʻá ne ongoʻi lōmekina kapau naʻe ʻikai te ne maʻu ʻa e ngaahi maaka māʻolunga tahá. ʻOku pehē ʻe Rita: “Mei he kei siʻí, naʻá ku fakahoa au ki he niʻihi kehe ko ia naʻe lahi honau taimí, lolotonga ia naʻá ku loto-mafasia maʻu pē mo fakavavevave ke fai ʻa e ngaahi meʻá. Naʻe ʻikai ʻaupito te u ongoʻi naʻe ʻi ai ha taimi ke mālōlō ai koeʻuhi he naʻe ʻi ai maʻu pē ʻa e ngaahi meʻa ia ke fai.”

ʻI he tuʻunga ko ha kiʻi taʻahiné, naʻe tangi ʻa Maria ʻi he ongoʻi feifeitamaki ʻi he ʻikai lava ke ne tā  fakatātā lelei ʻo hangē ko e niʻihi kehé. ʻIkai ko ia pē, ʻi heʻene fekumi ki ha pōtoʻi haohaoa ʻi he mūsiká, naʻá ne faʻa hoko ai ʻo loto-mafasia mo hohaʻa ʻo ʻikai ke fiefia ʻi heʻene taá pe hivá. Ko e taʻahine Pelēsila ʻe taha, ko Tânia, ʻa ia naʻe feinga ke fakapotopoto mo fakaʻehiʻehi mei he feʻauʻauhí, naʻá ne fakahaaʻi ʻokú ne kei fokotuʻu pē ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga fuʻu māʻolunga kiate ia, fakatouʻosi ʻi he ʻapiakó pea mo ʻapi. Naʻá ne ongoʻi ko e ʻikai pē ke haohaoa ʻene ngāué, ʻe ʻikai ʻaupito ke saiʻia ʻa e kakaí ʻiate ia. ʻIkai ngata aí, ʻi he taimi ʻe niʻihi naʻe ʻamanekina ai ʻe Tânia ʻa e meʻa lahi ʻaupito mei he niʻihi kehé, ʻa ia naʻá ne ʻai ia ke ne ongoʻi siva ʻa ʻene ʻamanakí mo loto-mamahi.

Neongo ko e lavameʻá, kītakí, mo ha ongoʻi ʻo e fiemālie fakafoʻituituí ʻoku mahuʻinga, ko e ngaahi ongoʻi taʻepaú, hangē ko e manavahē ʻi ha taʻemalavá, ʻe iku nai ki ai ʻi hono fokotuʻu ha ngaahi taumuʻa ʻe ʻikai lava ʻo aʻu ki aí. Ko e ngaahi mātuʻá pe niʻihi kehé te nau fokotuʻu nai ha tuʻunga ʻo e haohaoá ʻi he ngāue fakaakó pe ʻi he ngaahi sipotí ʻa ia ʻe ʻiloʻi ʻe he toʻutupú ʻoku faingataʻa ke fakahoko. Ko e fakatātaá, ko e faʻē ʻa Ricardo naʻe māʻolunga ʻa ʻene ngaahi ʻamanaki kiate iá, ʻo ne fiemaʻu ia ke ne hoko ko ha toketā, tā piano, pea lea ʻi ha ngaahi lea lahi. ʻE lava ke ke sio ko e faʻahinga tōʻonga ko ení, ʻi hono fai ke tōtuʻá, ʻokú ne fakalahi ʻa e ngaahi palopalemá pe ngaahi siva ʻa e ʻamanakí?

Ko e Hā ke Fakaʻehiʻehi Ai mei he Anga Fakahaohaoá?

Ko e ngāue tuʻunga māʻolungá, aʻusia ʻa e ngaahi tuʻunga māʻolunga ʻo e tonú mo e lelei tahá, ʻoku fiemaʻu ia. Ko ia ai, kuo pau ke feʻauʻauhi ʻa e kakaí ʻi he māketi ʻo e ngāué. Ko e meʻa tefito ʻe taha ʻokú ne fakatupunga ʻa e tokolahi ke nau feinga mālohi angé ko e manavahē ki he mole ʻa ʻete maʻuʻanga moʻuí. Ko e kau ngāue ʻe niʻihi ʻoku nau hoko ʻo hangē ko ha tokotaha ʻatelita ʻokú ne fai ha ngaahi feilaulau tōtuʻa ke fokotuʻu ha lēkooti foʻou. ʻI he taimi leva ʻokú ne fehangahangai ai mo e feʻauhi fefeká, te ne ongoʻi nai ʻoku ueʻi ia ke ne ako lahi ange, mahalo pē ʻo ngāueʻaki ha ngaahi meʻa fakakemikale ke fakaleleiʻiʻaki pea​—ʻokú ne ʻamanaki​—ki ha ikuna. ʻI he ʻikai ha tuli ki he lelei tahá, ʻoku fakatupunga ʻe he anga fakahaohaoá ke “ueʻi [ʻa e kakaí] ʻe he manavahē ki he taʻemalavá” pe “fakavave ke fika ʻuluaki.”​—The Feeling Good Handbook.

ʻOku hā mahino, ʻoku ongoʻi ʻe he niʻihi ko e meʻa ko ia te nau fai nai ʻi he ngaahi ʻātí pe ʻi he ngaahi sipotí ʻe lava maʻu pē ke fakaleleiʻi. Neongo ia, fakatatau kia Dr. Robert S. Eliot, “ko e anga fakahaohaoá ko e ʻamanaki ia ʻe ʻikai ʻaupito ke fetaulaki mo e meʻa moʻoní.” ʻOkú ne tānaki mai: “ʻOku faʻuʻaki ia ʻa e ongoʻi halaia, tuʻunga taukapo, pea mo e manavahē ki he manukí.” Ko ia ai, he moʻoni ē ko e ngaahi lea ʻa e poto ko Tuʻi Solomoné: “Naʻa ku vakai foki ʻa e fakafitefitaʻa kehekehe, mo e meʻa kotoa pe ʻoku fai ke mafai, ta ko e koto meheka pe ia ʻa e taha ki he taha. Ko e muna mo ia foki, mo e kai matangi.”—Koheleti 4:4 (Tagata Malaga, PM).

Ko e hā ʻe lava ke ke faí kapau ʻokú ke tokanga ke hoko ko ha tokotaha tui ki he anga fakahaohaoá? ʻOku moʻoni koā ko e mālohi ange ʻa hoʻo feingá, ko e siva lahi ange ia ʻa e ʻamanaki ʻokú ke maʻú? Te ke saiʻia ke siʻi ange ʻa hoʻo fiemaʻú pea fiemālie ange? Ko e hā ʻa e ʻuhinga ʻo e pehē ke haohaoá? ʻIkai ʻokú ke fakaʻamu ke ngāueʻaki ʻa hoʻo malava kakato tahá lolotonga ia ʻokú ke fakaʻehiʻehi mei he anga fakahaohaoá? Kapau ʻoku lava ʻe he tangata taʻehaohaoá ke ngāueʻaki ʻenau ngaahi malava kuo foaki ʻe he ʻOtuá ke fakatotoloʻi ʻaki ha ngaahi meʻa ʻe ʻaonga ki he niʻihi kehé, fakaʻuta atu ki he meʻa ʻe lava ke fakahoko ʻe he faʻahinga ʻo e tangatá ʻi he malumalu ʻo e ngaahi tuʻunga haohaoá mo e tataki fakaʻotuá!

[Fakatātā ʻi he peesi 4]

ʻE fiemaʻu nai ʻe he ngaahi mātuʻá pe niʻihi kehé ʻa e haohaoá, ʻa ia ʻoku ʻikai lava ke fakahoko mai ʻe he toʻutupú