1. Nanobe umshado uvamise kucalisa ngenjabulo, yini bantfu labashadene lekufanele bayilindzele? (Buka sitfombe lesisekucaleni kwalesihloko.)

LAPHO makoti lomuhle eta kumyeni wakhe lolikhwa ngelilanga labo lemshado, kulukhuni kuchaza injabulo labasuke banayo. Nabaseganene, lutsandvo lwabo luyakhula, bese balungela kwenta sifungo kutsi batawetsembeka emshadweni wabo. Kuliciniso kutsi kutawudzingeka bente lushintjo lolutsite njengobe batawucala kuhlala kanyekanye futsi bacalise umndeni. LiVi laNkulunkulu liniketa seluleko lesihlakaniphile kubo bonkhe labafuna kushada, ngobe uMsunguli wemshado lonelutsandvo ufuna bantfu labashadene baphumelele futsi bajabule emshadweni wabo. (Taga 18:22) Nobe kunjalo, imiBhalo isitjela ngalokucacile kutsi bantfu labashadako “batawuba nelusizi enyameni.” (1 Khor. 7:28) Buhlungu lobunjalo bungagcinwa njani busezingeni leliphansi? Yini lengenta umshado wemaKhristu uphumelele?

2. Ngutiphi tinhlobo telutsandvo bantfu labashadene lokufanele babonisane tona?

² LiBhayibheli ligcizelela kubaluleka kwelutsandvo. Lutsandvo  lolunemusa (ngesiGriki, phi·liʹa) luyadzingeka emshadweni. Lutsandvo lwetitsandzani (eʹros) luletsa injabulo, kantsi lutsandvo lwemndeni (stor·geʹ) lona lubaluleke kakhulu nangabe labashadene sebanebantfwana. Nobe kunjalo, lutsandvo lolusekelwe etimisweni (a·gaʹpe) ngilo lolwenta umshado uphumelele. Ngalokuphatselene nalolutsandvo, umphostoli Pawula wabhala: “Nguloyo naloyo kini akatsandze umkakhe njengobe atitsandza yena; nemfati kufanele abe nenhlonipho lenkhulu ngendvodza yakhe.”​—Ef. 5:33.

3. Lutsandvo kufanele lucine kanganani emshadweni?

³ Pawula wabhala: “Madvodza, chubekani nitsandza bafati benu njengobe nje naKhristu alitsandza libandla futsi watinikela ngenca yalo.” (Ef. 5:25) Kulingisa sibonelo saJesu kudzinga kutsi balandzeli bakhe batsandzane ngendlela naye labatsandza ngayo. (Fundza Johane 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Ngako-ke, lutsandvo emaKhristu lashadene labonisana lona kufanele lucine kangangekutsi umlingani wemshado akulungele kufela loyo lashade naye, uma kunesidzingo. Kungaba lukhuni kutsi kwenteke loko nangabe kuvela imphikiswano lenkhulu emkhatsini walabashadene. Nobe kunjalo, lutsandvo lwe-a·gaʹpe “lucinisela kuto tonkhe tintfo, lukholwa ngito tonkhe tintfo, lwetsemba tonkhe tintfo, lubeketelela tonkhe tintfo.” Ngako “lutsandvo aluyoke luphele.” (1 Khor. 13:7, 8) Kukhumbula kutsi kwetsembisana kutsandzana nekwetsembeka, kutabasita bantfu labashadene labesaba Nkulunkulu kutsi babambisane ngekuvumelana netimiso taJehova letiphakeme kute balungise nobe ngabe ngutiphi tinkinga letingahle tibe khona.

4, 5. (a) Iyini indzima yendvodza njengoba iyinhloko yemndeni? (b) Umfati kufanele abutsatse njani bunhloko? (c) Nguluphi lushintjo labanye labashadene lokwadzingeka kutsi balwente?

⁴ Akhuluma ngendzima yemlingani ngamunye wemshado, Pawula watsi: “Bafati abatfobele emadvodza abo kube shengatsi batfobela iNkhosi, ngobe indvodza iyinhloko yemkayo njengobe nje naKhristu ayinhloko yelibandla.” (Ef. 5:22, 23) Lombhalo awumenti umfati angabaluleki kunendvodza. Kunaloko, umsita kutsi afeze indzima Nkulunkulu layinika umfati nakatsi: “Akukuhle kutsi umuntfu [Adamu] ahlale yedvwana. Ngitamentela umsiti lolungele yena.” (Gen. 2:18) Njengobe Khristu ‘loyinhloko yelibandla’ abonisa lutsandvo, nendvodza lengumKhristu kufanele ihole ngelutsandvo. Nangabe yenta njalo, umkayo utiva avikelekile futsi uyajabula njengobe ayihlonipha, ayisekela futsi atitfoba kuyo.

⁵ Avuma kutsi nasewushadile kudzingeka wente lushintjo lolutsite, Cathy ^[1] utsi: “Njengadzadze longakashadi, bengitimele futsi ngitinakekela. Kwadzingeka kutsi ngente lushintjo nasengishadile njengobe besekufanele ngetsembele endvodzeni yami. Bekungasimelula ngaso sonkhe sikhatsi, kodvwa loko kusente sasondzelana kakhulu nendvodza yami njengobe senta tintfo ngendlela Jehova lafuna ngayo.” Indvodza yakhe lenguFred itsi: “Kwenta tincumo bekungasimelula kimi. Nasewushadile, kuyinsayeya kwenta tincumo ikakhulukati nawentela bantfu lababili. Kodvwa ngekufuna sicondziso saJehova ngemthantazo kanye nekulalela imibono yemkami, kwenta kutsi kube melula kutsatsa tincumo lilanga nelilanga. Ngiva shengatsi sibambisene naye.”

6. Nakuvela tinkinga emshadweni lutsandvo “lusibopho lesiphelele sebunye” ngayiphi indlela?

⁶ Umshado locinile wakhiwa bantfu lababili labakhona kubeketelela emaphutsa alomunye nalomunye. ‘Bachubeka babeketelelana futsi batsetselelana ngekukhululeka.’ Kuyavunywa kutsi bobabili batawenta emaphutsa. Kodvwa nakwenteka loko, kuvela ematfuba ekutsi bafundze emaphutseni abo, batsetselelane futsi bavumele lutsandvo lusebente kubo ‘njengesibopho lesiphelele sebunye.’ (Khol. 3:13, 14) Ngetulu kwaloko, “lutsandvo luyabeketela,  lutsandvo lumnene. . . . alunamagcubu.” (1 Khor. 13:4, 5) Kungevani kufanele kulungiswe ngekushesha. Ngako, emaKhristu lashadene kufanele etame kulungisa tinkinga emkhatsini wawo lilanga lingakashoni. (Ef. 4:26, 27) Kukusho ngalokusuka enhlitiyweni kutsi: “Ngiyacolisa ngekukuvisa buhlungu,” kudzinga kutfobeka nesibindzi futsi kufeza indzima lenkhulu ekulungiseni tinkinga kanye nasekusiteni bantfu labashadene basondzelane.

7, 8. (a) Ngusiphi seluleko liBhayibheli lelisiniketako mayelana nekuya ecasini kwebantfu labashadene? (b) Kungani bantfu labashadene kufanele babonisane lutsandvo lolunemusa?

⁷ LiBhayibheli liniketa seluleko lesihlakaniphile lesingasita bantfu labashadile kutsi babe nembono lolinganiselako ngekwenetisana ngelutsandvo. (Fundza 1 Khorinte 7:3-5.) Kubalulekile kuticabangela ngelutsandvo tifiso netidzingo taloshade naye. Nangabe umfati angaphatfwa ngemusa, angakutfola kumatima kukwenta ngenjabulo loko. Emadvodza ayalwa kutsi asebentelane nebafati bawo “ngekubati.” (1 Phet. 3:7) Kuya ecasini akukafaneli kwentiwe ngenkhani nobe kufunwe ngemandla kodvwa kufanele kutentakalele. Emadvodzeni kuvamise kutsi sisheshe sifike sidzingo sekuya ecasini kunasebafatini, kodvwa kufanele nguloyo naloyo acabangele imivelo netidzingo talomunye.

⁸ Nanobe liBhayibheli lingashayi imitsetfo ngalokucondzile mayelana nendlela lokufanele bajabulisane ngayo nabaya ecasini kanye nelizinga lokufanele bakwente ngalo loko, kodvwa liyakhuluma ngetindlela tekukhombisana lutsandvo. (Ngo. 1:2; 2:6) EmaKhristu lashadene kufanele aphatsane ngelutsandvo lolunemusa.

9. Kungani kungakavumeleki kuba nesifiso sekuya ecasini nemuntfu lesingakashadi naye?

⁹ Lutsandvo lolucinile ngaNkulunkulu namakhelwane angeke luvumele nobe ngabe yini kutsi iphatamise sibopho semshado. Leminye imishado ibenetinkinga nobe yabhidlika ngesizatfu sekutsi lomunye walabo labashadile besekangumlutsa wetitfombe letingcolile. Kufanele bawugweme lomkhuba wekutsandza tintfo letinjalo nobe kuba nesifiso sekuya ecasini nemuntfu labangakashadi naye. Ngisho nekudlala ngelutsandvo nemuntfu longakashadi naye akulubonisi lutsandvo kulona loshade naye futsi akukafaneli kwentiwe. Nasikhumbula kutsi Nkulunkulu uyayibona yonkhe imicabango netento tetfu, kutawucinisa sifiso setfu sekufuna kumjabulisa kanye nesekuhlala simsulwa.​—Fundza Matewu 5:27, 28; Hebheru 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Ivame kangakanani idivosi? (b) Litsini liBhayibheli ngekuhlala ngekwehlukana? (c) Yini lengasita umuntfu loshadile kutsi angajaki kufuna kuhlala ngekwehlukana nalashade naye?

¹⁰ Tinkinga letimatima letichubekako emshadweni tingase tibangele umlingani wemshado munye nobe bobabili kutsi bacabangele kuhlala ngekwehlukana nobe kudivosa. Kulamanye emave, linani lelingetulu kwehhafu labo lebantfu labashadile ligcina selidivosile. Lomkhuba awukavami ebandleni lebuKhristu, kodvwa tinkinga temshado letandzako kubantfu baNkulunkulu tiyakhatsata.

¹¹ LiBhayibheli liniketa nati ticondziso: “Umfati akukafaneli ehlukane nendvodza yakhe; kodvwa nangabe ehlukana nayo, akahlale angakashadi nobe aphindze abuyisane nayo; nendvodza akukafaneli imshiye umkayo.” (1 Khor. 7:10, 11) Kuhlala ngekwehlukana akukafaneli kutsatfwe melula. Ngisho nobe kungabonakala kuyimphendvulo yetinkinga letimatima letiphakamako emshadweni, kodvwa kuvamise kubanga letinye tinkinga. Ngemuva kwekuphindza emavi lashiwo nguNkulunkulu mayelana nekutsi indvodza iyawushiya uyise nenina inamatsele kumfati  wayo, bese baba nyamanye, Jesu watsi: “Loko lakuhlanganisile Nkulunkulu, akungabe kusehlukaniswa ngumuntfu.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Loku kuphindze kusho kutsi indvodza nobe umfati akukafaneli ‘behlukanise loko Nkulunkulu lakuhlanganisile.’ Jehova utsatsa umshado njengesibopho sako konkhe kuphila kwemuntfu. (1 Khor. 7:39) Kucabanga ngekutsi sonkhe sitawulandzisa kuNkulunkulu, kufanale kwente bantfu labashadile betame kamatima kusheshe balungise tinkinga tingakabi tinkhulu.

12. Umuntfu loshadile angabangelwa yini kutsi acabangele kuhlala ngekwehlukana nalashade naye?

¹² Kulindzela intfo lengeke seyenteke emshadweni kungaba ngumsuka wetinkinga temshado. Nangabe emaphupho ekuba nemshado lojabulako angaphumeleli, umuntfu loshadile angativa angenetiseki, ayengiwe futsi advumele. Bantfu labashadene banebuntfu lobungafani, bakhuliswe ngetindlela letingafani futsi loko kungaletsa tinkinga emshadweni. Mhlawumbe bangase bangavumelani ngendlela yekusebentisa imali, ngendlela labasebentelana ngayo netihlobo tabo kanye nendlela yekukhulisa bantfwana. Nobe kunjalo, kuyajabulisa kutsi emaKhristu lamanyenti lashadene ayakhona kutfola tisombululo tato tonkhe letinkinga ngobe avumela Nkulunkulu kutsi awacondzise.

13. Ngutiphi tizatfu letivakalako letingabangela bantfu kutsi bahlale ngekwehlukana?

¹³ Ngalesinye sikhatsi kuhlala ngekwehlukana kungemukeleka. Kungondli ngemabomu, kuhlukumeteka lokukhulu kanye nekuphikisa lokumatima lokungenta buhlobo bemuntfu naJehova bube sengotini, kutimo letingetulu kwemandla labanye labaye batitsatsa njengesizatfu sekuhlala ngekwehlukana. EmaKhristu lashadile labhekene netinkinga letimatima kufanele afune lusito kulabadzala belibandla. Labazalwane labaceceshiwe bangabasita labashadile kutsi basebentise seluleko seliVi laNkulunkulu. Nasilungisa tinkinga temshado, kufanele sithantazele umoya waJehova kanye nelusito lwakhe kute sikwati kusebentisa timiso teliBhayibheli futsi sibonise titselo temoya wakhe.​—Gal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Litsini liBhayibheli kumaKhristu lashade nebantfu labangasito tikhonti taJehova?

¹⁴ Kuletinye timo, utfola kutsi umKhristu ushade nemuntfu longakacali kukhonta Jehova. Nangabe kunjalo, liBhayibheli liniketa tizatfu letinhle tekutsi bachubeke bahlala ndzawonye. (Fundza 1 Khorinte 7:12-14.) Lomlingani wemshado longasiye umKhristu kutsiwa “ungcwelisiwe,” ngisho nobe akwati loko nobe angakwati, ngobe ushade nemKhristu. Nebantfwana labatawutalwa kuloyo mshado batsatfwa ngekutsi “bangcwele” futsi bayemukeleka kuNkulunkulu. Pawula watsi: “Wena mfati, wati ngani kutsi ungete wayisindzisa indvodza yakho? Nawe ndvodza, wati ngani kutsi ungete wamsindzisa umkakho?” (1 Khor. 7:16) Cishe onkhe emabandla aBoFakazi BaJehova anebantfu labashadene lapho khona lona longuKhristu akhonile ‘kusindzisa’ umlingani wakhe wemshado.

15, 16. (a) Ngusiphi seluleko liBhayibheli lelisiniketa bafati labangemaKhristu labanemadvodza langasito tikhonti taNkulunkulu? (b) UmKhristu angenta njani “nangabe lona longakholwa akhetsa kuhamba”?

¹⁵ Umphostoli Phetro uyala bafati labangemaKhristu kutsi bahloniphe emadvodza abo, “kuze kutsi nangabe lamanye kuwo angalilaleli livi, azuzwe ngaphandle kwemavi ngekutiphatsa kwebafati bawo, ngenca yekutsi atibonele wona kutiphatsa kwenu lokumsulwa nenhlonipho yenu lenkhulu.” Ngekutiphatsa “kwemoya wekuthula nalomuhle, lobaluleke kakhulu emehlweni aNkulunkulu,” kunyenti umfati langakwenta kute azuze indvodza yakhe kutsi yemukele kukhonta kweliciniso kunekutsi alibale kukhuluma ngetinkholelo temaKhristu.​—1 Phet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Kutsiwani nangabe umlingani wemshado longasiye umKhristu kunguye lokhetsa kuhlala ngekwehlukana? LiBhayibheli litsi: “Nangabe lona longakholwa akhetsa kuhamba, akahambe; umzalwane nobe dzadze akakabopheki  etimeni letinjalo, kodvwa Nkulunkulu unibitele kutsi nibe nekuthula.” (1 Khor. 7:15) Loku akusho kutsi imiBhalo iyamkhulula lomKhristu kutsi ashade nalomunye umuntfu, kodvwa kute sizatfu sekuphocelela lomlingani wakhe wemshado kutsi babuyisane. Kungenteka kuhlala ngekwehlukana kuletse kuthula. LomKhristu angabanalo litsemba lekutsi lomlingani wakhe lohambile utawubuya futsi balungise umshado wabo, nekutsi ngekuhamba kwesikhatsi utawugcine angumKhristu.

17. Yini lokufanele ite kucala kumaKhristu lashadene?

¹⁷ Ngesizatfu sekutsi singene shi “emalangeni ekugcina,” sibhekene “netikhatsi letibucayi lokumatima kubhekana nato.” (2 Thim. 3:1-5) Kodvwa kucinisa buhlobo naNkulunkulu kungafeza lukhulu ekukhweshiseni tilingo talelive. Pawula wabhala watsi: “Sikhatsi lesisele sesinciphile. Kusukela nyalo, labo labanebafati ababe njengalabete, . . . nalabo labasebentisa lelive babe njengalabangalisebentisi kakhulu.” (1 Khor. 7:29-31) Pawula abengasho kutsi bantfu labashadile kufanele bangatinaki tindzima tabo emshadweni. Kodvwa, njengobe sikhatsi sinciphile, bekufanele bente tintfo letiphatselene naNkulunkulu tite kucala ekuphileni kwabo.​—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kungani emaKhristu akhona kuba nemishado lejabulako nalephumelelako?

¹⁸ Nobe siphila etikhatsini letimatima futsi nemishado leminyenti ibhidlika, tsine siyakhona kuba nemishado lejabulako nalephumelelako. Ecinisweni, emaKhristu lashadene latihlanganisa nalamanye emaKhristu, lasebentisa seluleko seliBhayibheli futsi lemukela sicondziso semoya longcwele waJehova, angakhona kugcina “loko Nkulunkulu lakuhlanganisile.”​—Mak. 10:9.